New moon: Jacobs story
by kaitymagoo
Summary: Jacob trys to heal Bellas broken heart and ends up falling for her in the process.
1. Friends

New Moon: Jacobs story

Chapter 1: Friendship

I was sitting at the table, working on a report as part of my English homework. Actually, it felt more like I was torturing myself. I wasn't real fond of school and hated English most of all.

My frustration was building. I ran my fingers through my hair and threw my pencil across the room. I slammed my book closed and crumbled the paper I had only managed to scribble seven words on. That was enough for today. Working in the garage was certainly going to be more productive.

I gathered up the mess of papers and started throwing them into the trash when I heard a familiar roar coming up the road. I stopped; listening intently. My heart jumped at the thought of who might be behind the wheel of the old red truck. I hadn't seen Bella since _he_ left her brokenhearted in the woods, but I'd heard through my dad that she wasn't doing well at all.

I peeked my head around the curtains, verifying the identity of the driver. It was Bella. I opened the door and ran out into the rain to meet her. "Bella!" I felt the grin spread wide across my face. I was never going to be able to control my enthusiasm at seeing her.

She stepped around the truck and my heart soared and broke at the same time. She looked awful. Food hadn't entered her body in months, it seemed. She was thin and the normal color of her skin was even lighter than usual. Her hair had lost its shine as had her eyes. My hands balled into fists as I thought about what I wanted to do to Cullen if he ever crossed my path again.

"Hey, Jacob!" her voice sounded enthusiastic as she smiled. I matched hers with one of my own.

I stopped a few feet away from her and watched her carefully. She looked me up and down in surprise. Her head tipped back and the rain began splattering on her face.

"You grew again!" she accused.

I laughed at her reaction, my smile growing. "Six five," I boasted. I was proud of the fact that I was starting to look less and less like a boy and more like a man. I hoped Bella would notice too.

"Is it ever going to stop?" She shook her head. "You're huge."

"Still a beanpole, though." I cringed at the stupidity of pointing out my obvious flaw. I hoped she didn't notice my reaction. "Come inside! You're getting all wet."

She followed me toward the house. I pulled at my hair, twisting it into its usual ponytail and securing it with a rubber band from my pocket.

"Hey, Dad," I yelled as I entered the house again. "Look who stopped by." My heart was thumping wildly at Bella's presence and I felt like a nervous little boy. I took a deep breath, hoping to calm down. If I ever stood a chance with her, I had to relax.

My dad sat the book down in his lap and wheeled himself forward to greet her. "Well, what do you know! It's good to see you, Bella." He reached out to take her hand in his. I'd never realized how small her hands were. They were dwarfed by my fathers. I wondered how they would look next to mine.

"What brings you out here? Everything okay with Charlie?" My dad was concerned.

"Yes, absolutely. I just wanted to see Jacob - I haven't seen him in forever."

My heart was certainly getting a workout today. Bella's presence had already caused wild palpitations. But that she came to _see_ me. A heart attack was coming. I could feel it. My eyes widened and my cheeks hurt, I was smiling so big.

"Can you stay for dinner?" Dad asked eagerly.

"No, I've got to feed Charlie, you know."

"I'll call him now," Dad suggested, unwilling to let Bella get out of it so easily. "He's always invited."

Bella laughed nervously. "It's not like you'll never see me again. I promise I'll be back again soon - so much you'll get sick of me."

I liked the thought of that. Although, getting sick of Bella was not something I could see happening. I looked forward to her trying though. I wondered how serious she was about coming around. My heart hoped it would be lots, but I couldn't get my hopes up too much. In just the few times I'd spoken with Bella since her return to Forks, I knew that she had the potential to break my heart. I would have to be cautious.

Dad chuckled. "Okay, maybe next time."

Forget the small talk. I had to know why she'd really come by to see me. "So, Bella, what do you want to do?" I asked.

"Whatever. What were you doing before I interrupted?" she asked comfortably.

I paused, stealing a glance at the garbage can in the corner. "I was just heading out to work on my car, but we can do something else…"

"No, that's perfect!" she interrupted. "I'd love to see your car."

"Okay," I replied, skeptically. "It's out back, in the garage."

She seemed a little too eager and I wondered what she was really doing here. She waved politely to my dad. "See you later."

I led the way through the thick line of trees and shrubbery that screened the garage from the house. I worried how comfortable Bella would really be inside my world. She followed me through the door and looked around quickly.

"What kind of Volkswagen is that?" she asked.

"It's an old Rabbit - 1986, a classic."

"How's it going?"

"Almost finished," I squealed like a little girl. I cleared my throat and continued in a more masculine tone, "My dad made good on his promise last spring."

"Ah," she verified that she knew what I was referring to.

I wanted to kick myself for my stupid insensitivity. Of course she wouldn't want to talk about prom. I shuffled my feet nervously; waiting for her to crumble right before my eyes.

It seemed as though she were debating it. But then she grinned. "Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" she asked.

I shrugged, glad that the awkwardness had passed. "Some. My friend Embry has a dirt bike. We work on it together sometimes. Why?" Her question puzzled me. Bella and motorcycles didn't seem like a logical combination, nor did it seem the safest idea. She was nearly as clumsy as I was.

Well…," she pursed her lips, considering whether or not she was going to give me any more information. I waited patiently while her brain spun. Finally she spoke again, "I recently acquired a couple of bikes, and they're not in the greatest condition. I wonder if you could get them running?"

"Cool." I loved a challenge and it sounded as though that's what Bella was presenting - twofold actually. I grinned at the thought. "I'll give it a try."

She held up a finger as if she were warning me. "The thing is," she explained, "Charlie doesn't approve of motorcycles. Honestly, he'd probably bust a vein in his forehead if he knew about this. So you can't tell Billy."

_Was that all? _"Sure, sure." I smiled. "I understand."

"I'll pay you," she continued.

I felt my face fall at her suggestion. Absurd. "No. I want to help. You can't pay me." There was no way I would allow her to pay me. If my helping her would put a smile on her face, I would do it. I smiled again at the thought of this giving her an excuse to come over again.

"Well…how about a trade, then?" she offered. "I only need one bike - and I'll need lessons, too. So how about this? I'll give you the other bike, and then you can teach me."

"Swee-eet." I liked the sound of that. I could go riding with Embry - and Bella. I would have helped her for nothing, but this was going to be an added bonus.

"Wait a sec - are you legal yet? When's your birthday?"

"You missed it," I told her, narrowing my eyes and pretending to be offended. "I'm sixteen."

"Not that you age ever stopped you before," she teased. "Sorry about your birthday."

"Don't worry about it. I missed yours. What are you, forty?"

She sniffed. "Close."

"We'll have a joint party to make up for it," I suggested.

"Sounds like a date."

My heart thudded. I liked the sound of that; a date with Bella. I'm sure she didn't mean a romantic date, but hey, whatever she was willing to give me. I wasn't going to push her. Nothing else mattered as long as Bella and I could spend time together - and she was smiling.

"Maybe when the bikes are finished - our present to ourselves," she added quickly.

"Deal. When will you bring them down?"

She bit her lip and her cheeks took on a rosy hue. "They're in my truck now," she admitted.

"Great." I couldn't wait to get started.

"Will Billy see if we bring them around?"

I winked at her. "We'll be sneaky."

We walked around to the east side of the house being careful to stay out of view. We tried to walk casually just in case someone could see us. I quickly unloaded the bikes from the back, wheeling them down to Bella, who was waiting in the shrubs.

"These aren't half bad," I admired them as we pushed them through the trees. "This one here will actually be worth something when I'm done - it's an old Harley Sprint."

"That one's yours, then."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"These are going to take some cash, though," I informed her, frowning. "We'll have to save up for parts first."

"_We_ nothing," she stated. "If you're doing this for free, I'll pay for the parts."

"I don't know…," I muttered. I didn't really like the idea of Bella funding this adventure, but there wasn't really another option. Cash was something that I never had a lot of, especially the amount this project was going to take.

"I've got some money saved. College fund, you know."

She must be desperate if she was willing to use her college savings to pay for this. _Who was I to disagree with her?_ I nodded, flashing her a grin. Besides, who cares what I had to do if it meant that I'd get to spend more time with Bella.


	2. Healing

Chapter 2: Healing

We wheeled the bikes into the garage, leaving them in plain site. There was no need to hide them any further. My dad couldn't get his wheelchair down the steep trail.

I began to disassemble the first bike - the red one that would be Bella's - as soon as the door was closed. I opened the passenger door of the Rabbit so that Bella would have a place to sit while I worked.

I mumbled on about my mundane life while Bella 'um hummed' in all the right places. She didn't want to talk about herself, so I let her remain quiet and talked about myself. I didn't really like being the topic of conversation, but sitting here in silence would be much more uncomfortable. I talked on and on about my sophomore year, my classes and my two best friends.

"Quil and Embry?" she interrupted to show that she was paying attention. "Those are unusual names."

I laughed. "Quil's is a hand-me-down, and I think Embry got named after a soap opera star. I can't say anything, though. They fight dirty if you start on their names - they'll tag team you."

"Good friends." She raised an eyebrow.

"No, they are. Just don't mess with their names."

Just then a call echoes in the distance. "Jacob?" Quil yelled. I stifled a groan.

"Is that Billy?" Bella asked.

"No." I lowered my head and I felt the heat of embarrassment rising through my cheeks. "Speak of the devil," I mumbled, hoping Bella didn't hear me, "and the devil shall appear."

"Jake? Are you out here?" Embry hollered.

"Yeah!" I shouted back, and sighed. I wanted to just tell them 'no, go away', but decided to take their teasing now - and later.

It only took a few seconds of silence before they strolled around the corner and into the garage. Embry entered first. He's about my height and just as thin. Quil's a little shorter than we are, but much more developed in the way of muscles. Since his chest had started to develop, he always wore shirts that looked like they were about three sizes too small.

I watched them, waiting for the moment they would realize I had a girl with me.

Three.

Two.

One.

They both stopped short. Embry glanced swiftly from Bella to me and back again, while Quil just stood, gawking stupidly at her. A slow smile spread across his face and I knew I was going to hear it.

"Hey, guys," I greeted them halfheartedly.

"Hey, Jake," Quil said without looking away from Bella. She smiled at him, also noting how dumb he looked. He winked at her. "Hi, there."

"Quil, Embry - this is my friend, Bella."

"Charlie's kid, right?" Quil asked, holding out his hand.

"That's right," she confirmed, shaking hands with him.

"I'm Quil Ateara," he announced grandly before releasing her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Quil."

"Hey, Bella. I'm Embry, Embry Call - you probably already figured that out, though." Embry smiled a shy smile and waved with one hand, which he then shoved in the pocket of his jeans.

She nodded. "Nice to meet you, too."

"So what are you guys doing?" Quil asked, still looking at Bella.

"Bella and I are going to fix up these bikes," I explained. Both of them rushed over to begin their examination of the project.

"The carberator will definitely need to be replaced," Embry noted.

"Yeah, I'm sure the cylinders will have frozen up," Quil added.

I nodded at their observations.

Bella sighed and slid out of the Rabbit.

I looked up, feeling horrible. "We're boring you, aren't we?"

"Naw," she smiled through her lie. "I just have to go cook dinner for Charlie."

"Oh…well, I'll finish taking these apart tonight and figure out what more we'll need to get then started rebuilding them. When do you want to work on them again?" I really didn't want her to leave.

"Could I come back tomorrow?"

This was the kind of response I was hoping for. The sooner the better. I smiled at her, "That would be great!"

Quil nudged Embry's arm and they grinned stupidly at each other.

"If you make a list, we can go shop for parts," she suggested.

My face fell a little. "I'm still not sure I should let you pay for everything."

She shook her head. "No way. I'm bankrolling this party. You just have to supply the labor and expertise."

I ignored Embry when he rolled his eyes at Quil.

"That doesn't seem right," I shook my head.

"Jake, if I took these to a mechanic, how much would he charge me?" she stated, proving her point.

I smiled. "Okay, you're getting a deal."

"Not to mention the riding lessons," she added.

"I'd like to give her 'riding lessons'," Quil muttered under his breath while grinning widely at Embry.

My hand flashed out and smacked him in the back of the head before he could even react. "That's it, get out," I muttered, hoping Bella had missed his idiot comment.

"No, really, I have to go," she protested, heading toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jacob."

As soon as she was out of sight, Quil and Embry began with a chorus of "Wooooo!"

I ran with my head lowered into Quil, forcing my shoulder into his stomach. "Ouch!" he yelled.

Embry snickered just long enough for me to get my hand to whip around and meet the back of his head. "Hey!"

"If either of you set so much as one toe on my land tomorrow, you will be seriously sorry."

They both held their hands up in resignation. "Fine, we'll stay away," Quil promised.

"So what really brought her here?" Embry quizzed. "Surely, it wasn't your…what did she call it…"

"Expertise," Quil substituted the word, laughing.

"Get out," I ordered. Enough was enough and I'd reached my limit.

"We'll be good."

"Boy, Billy wasn't kidding when he said she was taking the Cullen's leaving hard," Quil changed the subject.

"Has she eaten anything in the months since they left?"

I shook my head at the observations that matched my own.

"Jacob?" Billy voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Yeah, Dad?" I ran to the doorway so he wouldn't attempt to make the dangerous journey to reach me.

"Dinner's ready."

"I'll be right there."

"The guys can stay if they'd like," he offered.

"No, they can't," I told him without even asking. When I turned around, they both looked offended. "I've had enough of you tonight."

"Oh, Bella," Quil said in a mock erotic tone.

"Out!" I hissed, pointing to the door.

When I couldn't hear their laughing and smart aleck comments anymore, I headed back towards the house.

"Hi," Dad muttered, setting the plates on the table.

"What's for dinner?" It smelled okay. Sometimes Dad's recipes only lacked flavor and other times, they were barely edible.

"It's a recipe I've never tried before."

_Great! _I thought, heading off to the bathroom to wash the grease off my hands.

"Bella seemed okay."

"Um hum," I mumbled.

We sat at the table, neither of us talking. Dad was practically bursting, wanting to ask a million questions about Bella. I waited for them. Like a storm on the horizon, I knew they were coming.

"She looked better than the last time I saw her."

"I thought she was too thin," I tried to sound nonchalant; my anger growing in my stomach. I hated Edward Cullen for what he'd done to Bella. "I can't believe anyone could hurt another person like that."

"It's for the best," Dad said quietly.

"The best?" I growled. "Don't give me any more of your superstitious crap, Dad! It's been months since she's been even human. He claimed to have loved her and left her devastated. Crushed. Destroyed." My voice grew louder with each new word I found to describe her. How could my father ever say Bella was better like this than with Cullen? She didn't deserve any of this. I ran my fingers through my hair and slammed my fist on the table. "I would never hurt her like that."

He just stared at me, chewing quietly.

"Good night, Dad," I stood and headed off toward my room. I closed the door with a loud bang. I heaved myself onto the bed and sighed. I groaned when my eyes found the clock on the dresser. 7:30. I flipped the light on and began thinking about the report that was due on Monday.

I heard my dad go to bed about 9:00. I waited a few minutes before getting up and stumbling to the kitchen. I sat at the table and scribbled out the report. Part of it, at least.

I awoke to my dad's hand on my shoulder. "Morning, Jake." My head jerked up and wiped the drool away from my chin and the table.

"Morning."

"What are your plans for today?"

"I'm not sure. Bella had mentioned she might come by again," I was purposely vague.

I grabbed a piece of toast and headed off to the bathroom for a quick shower. I heard the phone ring and hoped it wasn't Bella calling to cancel.

"Who was on the phone?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer.

"Charlie."

I held my breath waiting for the rest of it.

"Harry's going to pick me up and we're all going to watch the game."

I let out the breath slowly and nodded my head at Bella's unnoticed way of reducing the amount of witnesses. I smiled.

"And Bella's on her way. She should be here in a few minutes," he added, grinning slyly at me. I ignored him and quickly organized anything that looked cluttered. I smiled when I heard Bella's truck sloshing down the road. I grabbed the umbrella and headed out to meet her.

She hadn't even cut the engine before I opened the door, holding the umbrella over her to keep her from getting wet.

"Charlie called - said you were on your way," I explained with a grin.

She returned my smile. "Hi, Jacob."

"Good call on inviting Billy up." I held my hand up for a high five.

She had to practically jump to reach my hand and it made me laugh. I led her inside and gave her a brief tour of my room while we waited for Harry and Billy to leave.

"So where to, Mr. Goodwrench?" she asked as soon as the door closed behind Billy.

I pulled the list out of my pocket and smoothed it against my chest. "We'll start at the dump first, see if we can get lucky. This could get a little expensive," I warned her. I still didn't like the idea of her paying the entire amount, but didn't have the funds to argue too much. "Those bikes are going to need a lot of help before they'll run again." I stared at her, waiting for her to comprehend how much this could cost. She just nodded, so I continued. "I'm talking about maybe more than a hundred dollars here."

She pulled her checkbook out, fanned herself with it and rolled her eyes. "We're covered." I laughed at her.

It was a good day. We stomped through ankle-deep mud at the dump, but found some great stuff, saving us a fortune. Being with Bella made it even more enjoyable. She laughed and smiled and acted normal - for the most part.

After the dump we headed for Checker Auto Parts in Hoquiam. In Bella's truck the trip took us over two hours. Again we talked mostly about me; my friends, school and then finally I couldn't ignore the gaping hole in her dashboard any longer.

"Did the stereo break?" I wondered.

"Yeah," she muttered quietly.

I poked around in the crater, half expecting to find a tiny alien. "Who took it out? There's a lot of damage…."

"I did," she admitted quietly.

It was obvious there was more to the story and the damage told me there was a great deal of emotion behind the removal of the stereo. Her quiet answer revealing that she didn't want to talk about it, so I just laughed. "Maybe you shouldn't touch the motorcycles too much."

"No problem."

Bella again returned the conversation to me. I sighed and I told her about Quil asking out a senior's steady girlfriend and causing all kinds of trouble. I finished the story before complaining, "I'm doing all the talking. Why don't you take a turn? What's going on in Forks? It has to be more exciting than La Push."

"Wrong," she sighed. "There's really nothing. Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine. I like your friends. Quil's funny."

I couldn't help but frown as she mentioned him specifically. "I think Quil likes you, too."

She laughed. "He's a little young for me."

Her reference to his age upset me. My frown deepened, my brows furrowed. "He's not that much younger than you. It's just a year and a few months." If she thought Quil was too young for her, I didn't stand a chance.

"Sure, but, considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls, don't you have to count that in dog years? What does that make me, about twelve years older?" she teased.

I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Okay, but if you're going to get picky like that, you have to average in size, too. You're so small, I'll have to knock ten years off your total."

"Five foot four is perfectly average." She sniffed. "It's not my fault you're a freak."

Our banter continued back and forth all the way to Hoquiam. We argued over the correct formula to determine age. I gained two years because I could change a tire and Bella gained one because she did the bookkeeping at her house. Once we were at Checker, I had to concentrate again. We paused the game while we shopped, finding everything on our list. I was feeling pretty good about our haul.

We returned to La Push, and I had managed to skip right through my twenties. I was thirty and Bella was only twenty-three. She couldn't argue I was too young now. I chuckled.

The house was still empty, so we were able to unload everything without having to be sneaky. I carefully laid everything out on a tarp in front of the toolbox, and I got right to work. We still talked and laughed while I began assembling the pieces.

Darkness soon began to fill the garage and we heard my dad calling for us. Bella jumped up to help, but hesitated unsure of what she should touch.

"Just leave it," I told her. "I'll work on it later tonight."

"Don't forget your schoolwork or anything," she reminded me guiltily.

"Bella?"

Charlie's familiar voice caused our heads to jerk in the direction of the house. It sounded as though he were coming this way.

"Shoot," she muttered. "Coming!" she yelled toward the house.

"Let's go." I smiled. I flipped the lights off. I grabbed her hand and loved the feeling of her skin against mine. It was so much softer and cooler than my own. I towed her toward the house. I was still baffled by her reasoning for hanging out with me, but grateful all the same. These last few days I'd spent with Bella had me already falling for her. How could I not? I only hoped she wouldn't break my heart.

We were both tripping and stumbling our way up the uneven path; laughing as the lights from the house came into view. Her laughter was a beautiful sound. Although, it didn't sound forced, it didn't sound completely easy either. I wondered how long it'd been since she'd laughed.

Charlie and Billy were waiting for us at the back door. Charlie outside on the small porch and Billy inside.

"Hey, Dad," we both said at the same time, which only helped make us even more giddy.

Charlie stared at Bella in amazement with wide eyes as he noticed Bella's hand in mine. An approving smile spread across his face. I pretended not to notice.

"Billy invited us to dinner," Charlie muttered, trying to act nonchalant.

"My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations," Billy said gravely.

I rolled my eyes and snorted at him. "I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long."

Dad had also invited the Clearwater's, Harry and his wife, Sue and their two children. Leah was a senior and Seth was a few years younger than I was. Many thought of Leah as beautiful, but as far as I was concerned, she didn't hold a candle to Bella's beauty. Seth was a good kid and followed me around like a little brother.

The house was jammed full of people, and there wasn't really room at the table. Charlie and Harry brought chairs outside and we sat eating the spaghetti from our laps. The only light was that coming from the open door to the house. Our fathers talked about the game and fishing. Sue asked his husband over and over to eat something that was good for him. She worried about his cholesterol.

I normally didn't mind having Seth around, but tonight he seemed more of a pest than usual. Anytime he felt threatened that I might be leaving him out, he interrupted my conversation with Bella. Charlie watched her carefully, stealing glances when he thought she wasn't looking. His eyes were both pleased and cautious.

Everyone talked over each other and laughter filled the air. Bella didn't say much, but her smile was real. She giggled and her hand grazed my arm, sending chills through my body.

It was time to for everyone to leave as the heavens opened up with the rain that Washington was famous for. I hated that Bella was going to be going home. I wanted her to stay and continue making me laugh. But Charlie climbed into the passenger seat and Bella turned the key, starting the engine.

I watched as her taillights disappeared from view.

"Did you have a nice day with Bella?" Billy asked, pretending not to care what my answer would be.

"Yeah." I closed the front door and brushed passed him, heading toward my room. I didn't want to have this conversation with my father. He and Charlie would be comparing notes tomorrow. Of that, I was sure.

The next morning, I shuffled into my first class where Quil and Embry were ready to pounce. "So, how's Bella?" Quil chuckled.

"Fine."

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Embry pried.

"Yes."

The teacher walked in and took charge, saving me from my best friends. They were going to drive me crazy, plaguing me with questions about Bella and our weekend together. One word answers were going to be my way of keeping them in the dark.

I jumped out of my seat and raced into the hall ahead of the guys, hoping they would just leave me along. No such luck.

"Jake, wait," Embry called after me. I stopped, groaned and turned to face them.

"Okay," Quil finally got the hint. "I won't ask about Bella anymore."

"Thanks," I grunted.

"Can I ask about the bikes though?"

"Sure, sure."

"How are they coming?"

"Good." This topic seemed safe enough. "We were able to find a lot of the parts we needed at the dump; so it saved us a ton of money."

"Did you get all the parts you needed?" Embry interjected his two cents.

"Yeah, whatever we didn't get at the dump, we were able to find at Checker Auto Parts in Hoquiam."

"You drove to Hoquiam?"

I cringed at the little piece of ammunition I'd let slip. "Yes."

"How long did it take you?" Quil raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"A little over two hours."

"Wow, two hours."

"Yeah," I mumbled, walking faster hoping to get away from them and their interrogation.

"What did you talk about for two hours?"

"Four hours," Embry did the math.

"Ooo, four hours in the car with Bella," Quil was so excited, he was practically bouncing up and down. I rolled my eyes and refused to answer their stupid questions.

"Okay, fine. When are you going to see her again?" Embry changed tactics.

"Tonight."

The oohs and awes followed me around all day, as did Quil and Embry.

"Just so you know," I growled as I exited the school at the end of the day, "You are _not_ allowed at my house tonight."

"You take all the fun out of watching you drool over a girl."

"I do not drool," I growled.

I did love watching Bella though. She was coming out of her funk right before my eyes. I hoped I could continue to help her heal.


	3. Date

Chapter Three - Date

I waited in the kitchen. In my bedroom. In the garage. And I finally resorted to pacing up and down along the front of my house.

After what seemed like eternity, her truck rumbled down the drive. Bella's face looked pained but she quickly hid it when her eyes met mine through the windshield. I watched as her body relaxed; yet her eyes remained troubled. I was grateful that my presence appeared to be of some comfort to her.

I wondered what was bothering her. I could only guess that her thoughts had been on the person who had hurt her so badly. I hated Edward Cullen.

I pushed the irritation out of my head, focusing on the girl in front of me. "Hey, Bella," I called to her, smiling.

She returned the smile. "Hey, Jacob." She waved over my shoulder to my dad, who was peering through the curtains.

"Let's get to work," I whispered in a low voice. I was very excited to spend more time with Bella.

She giggled. "You seriously aren't sick of me yet?" she asked the most absurd question ever.

I shook my head and led the way around the house to the garage. "Nope. Not yet." _Not ever, _my thoughts continued.

"Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain."

"Okay." I laughed at her ridiculous request. "I wouldn't hold your breath for that, though."

I pushed the door to the garage open and Bella giggled. "Jake, you're amazing," she reacted to the red bike standing up, ready to take for a ride.

"I get obsessive when I have a project." I shrugged, laughing nervously. "If I had brains I'd drag it out a little bit."

"Why?"

I wished I hadn't hurried our project along. She now didn't have an excuse to hang out with me. I had blown my opportunity to spend more time with her; all because I couldn't leave the damn bikes in pieces. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _I mentally cursed myself.

I couldn't stand the tension any longer. I had to know how Bella felt about the time we'd spent together so far.

"Bella, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?" I continued staring at the ground as I asked the question, but looked up to check her reaction when she didn't respond.

"I would say…that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework."

_Yes! Maybe there is hope. _My grin spread across my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to clear my thoughts. I couldn't let myself get too carried away. _She's still mourning that idiot who wouldn't know a good thing if it bit him in the… _

She smiled at me and I chuckled, embarrassed. She wanted to spend time with me, that was the important thing. I felt as though I could breathe again. I sat down next to the bike that still needed a bit of attention, picking up a wrench. "So you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?"

"Is that what you meant?" She shook her head. "I guess I _am_ taking advantage of your very under priced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here."

"Hoping to see Quil again?" I asked the question in hopes that she would put my fears to rest.

"You caught me," she teased.

I chuckled. "You really like spending time with me?" I couldn't believe this beautiful person would actually want to hang out with me.

"Very, very much. And I'll prove it. I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday we'll do something nonmechanical."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea. We can go to my place so you won't be tempted to be obsessive. You could bring your schoolwork - you have to be getting behind, because I know I am."

"Homework might be a good idea." My face contorted as I thought of all the homework sitting undone on my dresser, in my backpack and in my locker at school.

"Yes," she agreed. "We'll have to start being responsible occasionally, or Billy and Charlie aren't going to be so easygoing about this." She waved her hand between the two of us, suggesting that we were one entity. I definitely liked that. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Homework once a week?" I proposed.

"Maybe we'd better go with twice," she suggested.

I heaved a sigh. I reached over the toolbox and grabbed the grocery sack I'd put there earlier. I took out the cans of soda and popped one open. I handed it to her and opened the second one for myself.

"Here's to responsibility," I held the can up. "Twice a week."

"And recklessness every day in between," she added, smiling.

I grinned and reached over, touching my can to hers.

XOXOXOX

The next day at school was much the same as the day before. Embry wasn't there again. I'd called his house yesterday and his mom informed me that he was fine. I offered to come see him and she blew me off saying he was very busy.

I ignored her and went by to see him anyway, but no one answered the door.

Quil and I did our best to act as though nothing had changed but we were both pretty freaked out. My dad's attitude on the whole thing made it even more frustrating. It was almost as though he were excited Embry had ditched us for Sam and his gang. I groaned in frustration.

I rounded the corner after lunch and Quil appeared out of nowhere like an annoying little bug flying around your head that just won't go away and manages to flit out of your reach before you can squish it.

"Drop it," I growled.

"Come on, Jake," he whined, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I pulled away, quickening my step. He matched my stride. "Have you kissed her yet?"

"Quil," I warned.

"When can I see her again?"

"Never."

"She liked me," Quil reminded me. I winced at his observation.

"Bella likes everybody." I pushed through the door and into freedom. He continued to trail me.

"Are you getting together tonight?" He was trying to ask innocent questions, but I knew he was excited for what might be happening between us.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Work."

"You don't work," he responded.

"She does."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Cool," Quil laughed. "So are you too good for your friends now?" he asked incredulously.

"We can do something tonight. What do you want to do?" I wanted to spend time with Quil. Embry had already decided to abandon us for some unknown reason. The last thing I wanted to do was push my best friend to the side to spend more time with Bella, but at the same time I would gladly do so.

"A movie? Watch TV? Hiking?" he suggested.

"Hiking's good."

XOXOXOX

We walked through the door after our hike and my dad was watching the evening news.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hi, boys," he muttered without even looking up. "Where you been?"

"We went for a hike," I answered for both of us. We raided the refrigerator, devouring anything we could find. "Are you hungry, Dad?"

"No, I already ate. Thanks."

I guess Quil decided it was best for his health to leave the subject of Bella alone. I didn't think about much else. Concentrating in class had become even more difficult. I liked thinking about her. Replaying our conversations over in my head, searching for glimmers of hope that she might like me too.

Quil left me alone with my dad and I excused myself to the refuge of my room. It wasn't that I was avoiding my father, but given the chance, I knew that he wanted to talk about Bella too. I didn't know what to say. There really wasn't anything to say, so I spent as little time with him as I could.

The next afternoon, Bella came out to get me. We got to her house and I watched as Bella prepared the lasagna that would be our dinner. It was so comfortable being with her. I could just say anything to her. She was so easy to talk to. And her smile…it melted my heart.

That night, Charlie walked in to find Bella and I with our books strewn all over the living room floor. He didn't seem the least bit surprised; just pleased. I was sure he and my father had been talking to each other when we weren't around.

"Hey, kids," he said, his eyes glancing toward the kitchen. The smell of lasagna was beginning to waft in.

I gladly stayed for dinner; helping with the dishes and eagerly taking every chance I could to spend a few more minutes with Bella. Just being with her, made me happy. Charlie had told my dad that he had noticed a difference too.

She was leaning up to put away the last of the dishes when she stumbled. I grabbed her around the waist to steady her. Touching her that way sent electricity through my veins. I laughed nervously, "I guess I'm going to have to give you another year because you're a fantastic cook."

"Thanks."

XOXOXOX

Friday, I tried to call Embry again. Nothing. I wasn't quite sure what to think about Embry's sudden change. It bothered me a lot. Thankfully, I was able to spend the rest of the day hanging out in the garage with Bella. Being with her a great distraction from my worries.

Saturday, Bella worked at Newton's in the morning so I called Quil and we went to Embry's house. We'd planned on demanding an explanation, but just like the last time, there was no answer as we pounded on the door.

"Do you think he's avoiding us?" Quil muttered, cracking his knuckles anxiously.

I hated that particular nervous habit of his.

I had wondered the same thing. But his mom was being evasive too. I knew we hadn't done anything to piss her off. Had we?

"I don't know. It's just all so weird. One day, he's our best friend and the next, he's not even taking our phone calls." I raked my fingers through my hair, shaking my head.

We walked up to the store for a soda and passed Embry with his _new _friends, Sam and his gang. I thought I was going to be sick. He attempted a pathetic smile and wave, but in the end, he snubbed us. I wanted to deck the arrogant jerk who used to be my best friend.

Quil was upset by him too. "I'm going to go home," he grumbled when we reached the fork in the road.

"See you," I grunted in response. I stomped through the door and unloaded my frustrations on my father. "I can't believe he would just leave us for _them_!"

"Perhaps someday you'll be able to understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I growled. The vague answers from my father on the issue were more infuriating than what Embry was putting me through.

"I'm just saying that there's things you don't know."

"Whatever, Dad," I mumbled before again retreating to my room. I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I breathed deeply. _In. Out,_ I told myself, trying unsuccessfully to relax.

I was grateful when it was time to hook up with Bella. We worked on homework again. I didn't mind being responsible if I could do it with Bella at my side. We finished up and were sitting on the couch, watching _Monster Garage_ on the Discovery Channel when Charlie came back from fishing with Harry.

"I probably ought to go." I sighed, standing up. "It's later than I thought."

"Okay, fine. I'll take you home," Bella grumbled.

I laughed at her reaction. I loved that she didn't want me to leave any more than I wanted to go.

"Tomorrow, back to work," she said, when we were safely alone in the truck. "What time do you want me to come up?"

My heart thudded against my chest as my smile spread across my face. "I'll call you first, okay?"

"Sure." She frowned.

XOXOXOX

I had big plans for today and hurried to get everything ready. I took a deep breath, picked up the phone and dialed Bella's number.

"Hello?" she asked breathlessly.

"Bella," I said her name in a formal tone.

"Hey, Jake."

"I believe that…we have a _date_," I emphasized the word, hoping she would understand immediately.

There was silence on the other end of the phone while Bella processed what I had just told her. "They're done? I can't believe it!" she squealed.

"Yeah, they run and everything."

"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know. You get ten years for this one."

"Cool! I'm middle-aged now."

She laughed. "I'm on my way up!"

My heart was pounding in my chest and I had to remind myself to breathe. Bella had called me wonderful. I rushed to the bathroom to prepare for her arrival. I ran a brush through my hair and put on a fresh t-shirt.

I heard Bella's truck pull up and raced out to meet her. She was laughing when I came out into the yard.

"Ready?" I asked as quietly as I could muster.

"Yeah," she said, as though she were trying to convince herself.

Her apprehension made me wonder if I was doing the right thing, but I shrugged it off. I loaded the bikes into her truck, laying them on their sides so they couldn't be seen from the street.

"Let's go." I could hear the excitement in my own voice and inwardly groaned. "I know the perfect spot - no one will catch us there."

Bella drove south along the winding dirt road heading out of town. She was driving slowly, staring out the windshield at the ever changing scenery. I explained to her how I'd finished the bikes, but knew she wasn't really paying attention.

"And then I tweaked the…" I stopped mid-sentence when I noticed the four people standing on the cliff. Four people I recognized. My stomach lurched uncomfortably. Today was a rather chilly day and they were only wearing shorts. I rolled my eyes as a bitter taste entered my mouth.

I knew the exact moment when Bella saw them too because she slowed the truck to a crawl. She gasped when Sam stepped to the edge and prepared to jump. The truck slowed even further until finally she slammed the brake pedal to the floor.

"No!" she screamed as we jerked to a stop.

"What's wrong?" I yelled in response, searching for what might have Bella


	4. Stupidity

Chapter Four - Stupidity

"Okay, where's your clutch?"

She let go of the grip and pointed to the lever on the left handlebar. The bike started to wobble and began tipping to the side. She struggled awkwardly with it, trying to stay upright.

"Jacob, it won't stay up," she whined.

"It will when you're moving," I assured her. "Now where's your brake?" I asked, getting back to the task at hand.

"Behind me right foot."

"Wrong," I huffed in slight irritation. This was too dangerous for her not to get it right. I took a hold of her hand and wrapped my fingers around the lever on the throttle.

"But you said -"

"This is the brake you want. Don't use the back brake now, that's for later, when you know what you're doing."

"That doesn't sound right," she asked suspiciously. As if I'd tell her anything that would hurt her. "Aren't both brakes kind of important?"

"Forget the back brakes, okay? Here - " I curled my hand over hers, forcing her to squeeze the lever down. My hands were so much larger than hers. Electricity flowed through my body at the simplest touch of her skin. I concentrated on her safety and continued, "_That _is how you brake. Don't forget." I easily squeezed her hand once more. Suddenly, doubting how smart this stunt was.

"Fine," she agreed.

"Throttle?"

She twisted the right grip.

"Gearshift?"

She nudged it with her left calf.

"Very good. I think you've got all the parts down. Now you just have to get it moving."

"Uh-huh," she muttered, quietly. I studied her face and couldn't get a reading on exactly what she was feeling. She stared down the dirt road ahead of her and remained silent.

"I want you to hold down the clutch," I instructed her.

She wrapped her fingers around the clutch and looked at me.

"Now this is crucial, Bella," I couldn't stress it enough. "Don't let go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that I've handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon." Her hand tightened on the clutch. "Good. Do you think you can kick-start it?"

"If I move my foot, I will fall over," she muttered through clenched teeth, her knuckles were turning white on the clutch. She was so nervous, it was almost funny.

I took a step back and slammed my foot down on the pedal. The engine rumbled and the bike rocked. She started to tip and I grabbed the handlebar, stabilizing her.

"Steady there," I encouraged her with a supportive smile. "Do you still have the clutch?"

"Yes."

"Plant your feet - I'm going to try again."

I put my hand on the back of the seat to help her keep from falling over. I slammed the ignition four more times before it roared again. Her fingers were still wrapped safely around the clutch.

"Try out the throttle. Very lightly. And don't let go of the clutch."

She hesitantly twisted the right handle and the bike moved slightly. I smiled, matching hers, satisfied that the bike was running and that Bella was happy.

"Do you remember how to put it into first gear?"

"Yes."

"Well, go ahead and do it."

"Okay."

I watched for a few moments as she bit her lip, trying to remember where it was.

"Left foot," I reminded her.

"I _know_," she said.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" questioning her and the frightened look on her face. "You look scared."

"I'm fine," she snapped. She lifted her foot and slammed it down on the gearshift, knocking the bike into gear.

"Very good. Now, _very_ gently, ease up on the clutch." I stepped back, feeling apprehensive about turning her loose on this potentially dangerous machine. She wasn't exactly graceful.

"You want me to let go of the grenade?" she choked out.

"That's how you move, Bella." I hoped she didn't hear all the sarcasm in my response. "Just do it little by little."

She began to release her grip on the clutch and I could see the blood flowing back into her knuckles.

"Oh!" she gasped suddenly and her hand flashed away from the clutch.

The bike jumped forward violently and dumped Bella into the ground, laying half on top of her.

My heart leapt into my throat and I ran toward her in a panic. "Bella?" I ripped the bike off of her. "Are you hurt?"

She just stared off into space like she was in some sort of daze.

"Bella?" I grabbed her gently by the shoulder, shaking her.

"I'm fine," she mumbled.

I watched as she seemed lost in her thoughts. I wondered what on earth was going on inside her brain. I began pulling her to her feet.

"Did you hit your head?" I asked, trying to figure out the reason for her strange behavior.

"I don't think so." She shook her back and forth slowly. "I didn't hurt the bike, did I?"

"No. You just stalled the engine." I stared at her, studying her face. "You let go of the clutch too fast."

She nodded. "Let's try again."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

She tried to kick-start the bike herself this time. I held my hand over the handlebars ready to catch Bella if she was going to fall again. After several tries, the engine finally caught and the bike started up again.

She revved the throttle and the bike snarled in reaction. A huge smile spread across Bella's face and I could feel the answering smile forming on my own face.

"Easy on the clutch," I reminded her.

Her smile tightened slightly.

"Ease off slowly."

"I will," she said sharply. I was a little taken aback, but chalked it up to her being nervous.

Her hand relaxed on the clutch and the bike took off. Fast. Her hair was blowing in the breeze and she was doing really well. Her leg stomped on the gearshift and the bike started to go even faster. She was nearing the end of the straight shot and needed to start turning.

My stomach tightened. We hadn't discussed turning. I started walking toward her, praying she would figure it out on her own.

Suddenly she'd done the one thing I'd told her not to, she slammed her right foot down on the brake, sending the bike into dangerous territory. It tipped from one side to the other, dragging Bella toward the shrubbery. She shifted atop the bike, but it only sent the two of them crashing into the ground.

The motorcycle landed on top of her, still raging, and pulling her through the mud until it finally came to rest at the base of a tree. Panic and fear overwhelmed me. I jumped on my bike and raced toward her. My heart beating violently in my chest.

"Bella!" I yelled, running to check on her. I held my breath as I approached her, afraid of what I was going to find. I threw the motorcycle off of her and she rolled over, gasping frantically.

"Wow," she murmured softly.

"Bella!" I shouted, crouching over her. Anxiety consuming me. "Bella, are you alive?"

"I'm great. Let's do it again." She stretched her arms and legs, checking that they still worked. But it wasn't her arms and legs that I was worried about at the moment.

"I don't think so." I couldn't hide the concern in my voice as the bright red liquid began covering her head. "I think I'd better drive you to the hospital first."

"I'm fine."

"Um, Bella? You've got a huge cut on your forehead and it's gushing blood." I couldn't believe she didn't realize she was hurt.

She lifted her hand to her forehead to confirm what I'd just told her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Jacob." She pressed her hand harder against her head.

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding?" I placed my hands on her waist and helped her to her feet. "Let's go. I'll drive." I held out my hand, asking nonverbally for the keys.

"What about the bikes?" she questioned, giving me the keys.

I paused to think for a moment. "Wait here. And take this." I pulled off my shirt and threw it at her. It was already spotted with her blood anyway. She held it to her head and I ran to get the bikes. I grabbed my bike, driving it quickly back to her truck. I tossed it in the back and raced to get the red bike and Bella.

The old truck protested as I pushed it harder than Bella ever had. The engine whined fiercely. I was grateful Charlie had taken this pile of junk off of my hands. I would hate to have to drive this all the time.

I left the engine running and ran to get Bella. I felt so horribly guilty. Bella was hurt and it was all my fault. I should never have let her convince me to do this. I gently wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Okay, let's get you in the truck."

"I'm honestly fine," she lied. "Don't get worked up. It's just a little blood."

"Just a _lot_ of blood," I muttered bitterly under my breath, returning to pick up the death trap I had allowed her to ride.

"Now, let's think about this for a second," she began stammering when I climbed back into the cab. "If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it."

As much as I wanted to disagree, I took in her appearance and knew she was right. But… "Bella, I think you need stitches. I'm not going to let you bleed to death."

"I won't. Let's just take the bikes back first, and then we'll make a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital," she sounded convincing.

"What about Charlie?"

"He said he had to work today."

"Are you really sure?" I wondered if she heard the skepticism in my voice.

"Trust me. I'm an easy bleeder. It's not nearly as dire as it looks."

She sat quietly in the passenger seat with my blood-stained shirt pressed to her still bleeding head. I wondered where her mind was. I raked my hand through my hair and tossed a leaf out the window.

My guilt was building again. _If Charlie ever found out what I'd allowed Bella to do… _I shook my head unwilling to let my thoughts go there.

We pulled up in front of her house and the driveway was empty. That was a good sign.

"You still okay?"

"Yeah," her weak voice didn't sound at all convincing.

"By the way," I paused to make sure she was looking at me, "I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight." I knew that Bella would ask to ride again and I also knew that I wouldn't be able to deny her. So I would do my best to ensure she was at least safer.

She stumbled getting out of the truck. I rushed to her side, helping her. I picked at the leaves that were stuck in her matted hair. The bleeding had stopped but the remnants were still there. Dark red smudges covered her cheeks and forehead. In combination with her blood covered clothing, she looked really bad.

Her insistence to change her clothes was a really smart idea.

I stood nervously in the living room. Waiting. I then started pacing back and forth. Waiting.

"Hurry up," I shouted, unsure of exactly where she was in the upper level of the house.

"Okay, okay," she hollered back.

I heard her clomping down the stairs and waited for her to round the corner.

"How do I look?"

"Better."

"But do I look like I tripped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?"

_Interesting cover story. _"Sure, I guess so." _Not really, but whatever. Whatever gets her in the doors of the ER._

"Let's go then."

I pulled the keys out of my pocket, refusing to let Bella drive. I again pushed the old engine to the brink, hurrying to get her to the hospital. She stole a quick glance at my naked chest and I just as quickly felt very self conscious.

"We should have grabbed you a jacket," her voice sounded guilty.

"That would give us away." She still had my shirt pressed to her head and it might give the doctors something to wonder about if I had a fresh one on. Not that it mattered. "Besides, it's not cold."

"Are you kidding?" she asked, surprised, reaching over to turn the heater on the in truck.

I wasn't cold. I hadn't been cold all day. I was completely content with my arm sprawled across the back of the seat. I watched Bella out of the corner of my eye. She was shivering slightly. Her arms wrapped around her, trying to warm up.

Her eyes were again examining my exposed skin and it made me very nervous. "What?" I asked, putting my right arm across my body, shielding it from her stare.

"Nothing. I just hadn't realized before." I stared out the windshield, fearing what was coming next. "Did you know, you're sort of beautiful?"

I rolled my eyes, relief washing over me. "You hit your head pretty hard, didn't you?"

"I'm serious."

"Well, then, thanks. Sort of." _She said I was beautiful. _I wanted to jump up and scream while doing a happy dance. _Yes!_ I now knew that I was actually making progress with the intoxicating Bella Swan.

"You're sort of welcome," she said through a cheesy grin.

XOXOXOX

I sat next to Bella, holding her hand while Dr. Snow stitched up her forehead. I felt horribly guilty for the gash now marring her beautiful face. I should have never let her ride alone so soon.

Seven stitches and a few hours later, we were able to leave the hospital. It had taken so long that Bella had no choice but to take me home. I waved and watched the taillights until they were gone. I worried that Charlie wouldn't believe Bella's cover story. If he ever knew the truth, he would never forgive my reckless stupidity.

XOXOXOX

I had managed to keep Bella off of her motorcycle for a few days, but finally her pleading got to me. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would eventually give in.

"Please, Jacob."

"No."

"Please," she whined, batting her eyes. She was being goofy, but then she smiled and I caved.

"Okay, but you have to put a bandage over the last cut."

"Deal." She jumped up and threw her arms around me. I smiled into her hair, inhaling deeply, memorizing how her body felt pressed against mine.

Forty-five minutes later, we were on our way back to the emergency room.

"Charlie is going to kill me," I snorted.

"He can't blame you for my being a klutz."

"Come on, Bells, nobody's that clumsy."

"I am."

"I think that bump on your head is still growing. I hope you don't have a brain hemorrhage."

We sat in silence, waiting behind the thin curtain for the doctor to come in.

"Bella?" Dr. Gerandy questioned, pulling the blue screen away.

"Hi."

"What happened this time?" he glanced at me.

"I hit my head on a rock," she only told half the story.

_Tree, rock, close enough, _I thought, nodding along confirming her lie.

"Well, let me see that." He took the ice off of the huge goose egg on the back of her head.

"Where was this rock?"

"We were hiking and I tripped."

"You tripped, huh?" he raised an eyebrow.

_Uh-oh! _I wanted to grab Bella and run. We could be in so much trouble if anyone suspected what really happened.

"You need to be more careful, Bella. I don't want to see you back in here." He smiled. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

He turned to look at me as though asking the same question. "Yes, sir," I responded, nodding.

"It's possible that you have a concussion. You'll need to wake up every two hours to make sure that it's nothing more serious. Okay?"

"Okay."

"You're going to drive her home?"

"Yes, sir."

Bella hopped off the bed and stumbled. Luckily, I caught her and the doctor was too busy filling out paperwork to notice. He handed her a piece of pink paper and we were out the door.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just need some sleep."

"Only two hours at a time." I squeezed her hand. "Do you want wake-up calls?"

She laughed. "No, that's okay."

I stopped at the payphone, dropping a few coins in. "Just a second, okay."

"Who are you calling?"

"Hello?" the familiar voice answered.

"Hey. Can you meet me at my house in 10 minutes?"

"Uh, sure."

"See you in a few." I hung up the phone and turned back to Bella. "Let's get out of here."

XOXOXOX

Quil was waiting for me when we pulled up. He waved enthusiastically, grinning like a fool. She waved to him.

"Wait here. I'll be right back." She nodded. I motioned to Quil for help. We hurried to get the bikes out of the truck and into the garage. "Can you follow us back to Bella's and bring me home?"

"How about you drive my car and I'll ride with Bella?"

"Whatever, Dude." I groaned, climbing back in the truck. She had her head leaned against the window with her eyes closed. "Have you got a headache?"

"Yeah," she whispered. She sighed deeply and rubbed at her eyes. I was quiet the entire ride to her house, not wanting to add to her headache.

We pulled into Charlie's driveway and as much as Bella needed to go inside, I didn't want to let her go. I missed her when she wasn't around.

"Do you need me to help you in?"

"No, I don't want to give Charlie anything more to be suspicious about."

"Call me tomorrow?"

"Yeah." She smiled weakly. "Thanks, Jake."

"You're welcome."

I climbed into the passenger seat of Quil's car and the interrogation began. "So what happened this time?"

"She lost her balance and tipped over, hitting her head on a tree. I seriously don't think she'll ever get the hang of riding without getting hurt."

"Geez, Jacob, you can't let her ride that damn thing anymore. She's going to kill herself."

"I know," I mumbled in agreement. He couldn't say anything that was going to make me feel any worse.

Quil followed me into the garage where I immediately sat down next to Bella's bike. I'd already taken care of the rear brake and now I was going to tweak the throttle so that the speed would be more manageable for her.

XOXOXOX

My heart jumped when I saw Bella waiting in the parking lot after school on Friday.

"Ooo, lover boy, look who's here," Quil snickered, slapping me on the back.

I ignored his attempts at humor and waved over my shoulder, dismissing him. My best friend would give up his eye teeth to be the one spending time with Bella. Better me than him any day. _He's not really her type - I am. _I grinned as I climbed into her truck.

"Charlie's getting nosy," she grumbled.

"Maybe we should cool it with the bikes." She scowled, so I amended, "At least for a week or so. You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?"

I know Bella didn't want to stop riding the bikes, but my guilt certainly needed a break. It was a double-edged sword. I couldn't tell her no; but by not refusing her, I was putting her in more danger.

"What are we going to do?" she complained.

"What ever you want." _Please don't say cliff diving._

She was biting on her lip and I could almost see the wheels spinning in her brain; contemplating what other dangerous recreational activity we hadn't tried yet. _I am so irresponsible and stupid!_

She remained silent for a long time. Her face flashed with various emotions I didn't fully understand.

"What are you thinking about so hard?"

"Well…," she said slowly. "I found this place in the forest once - I came across it when I was, um, hiking."

Bella hiking? I didn't buy it. She couldn't walk in a straight line without tripping. I didn't contradict her though. Instead, I said nothing and listened to the rest of her request.

"A little meadow, the most beautiful place. I don't know if I could track it down again on my own. It would definitely take a few tries…."

That was all I needed to hear. A challenge and an excuse to spend more time with her. "We could use a compass and a grid pattern. Do you know where you started from?"

"Yes, just below the trailhead where the one-ten ends. I was going mostly south, I think."

"Cool. We'll find it." I would find this lost place in the forest - for Bella.

Saturday afternoon, Bella showed up at my house complete with what appeared to be a brand-new pair of hiking boots. I laughed to myself imagining the blisters she was going to have after our adventure today. I spread out the map and began to form the grid that we would use to make sure we searched every inch of the forest. She sat on a chair and talked with my dad. He seemed to liked her almost as much as I did. He and Charlie really liked the fact that Bella was choosing to hang out with me all the time.

"Maybe we'll see the super bear," I teased, drawing another long line across the map.

My dad laughed. "Hope your new boots are fast, Bella. One little jar isn't going to keep a hungry bear occupied for long."

"I only have to be faster than you," she pointed at me, laughing.

"Good luck with that!" I rolled my eyes, refolding the map and tucking it under my arm. I would just have to pick her up and carry her to safety if the bear crossed our paths. Either that or let it eat me. _Yeah, right. _"Let's go."

"Have fun," Dad muttered.

Bella drove us to where she had started before. I got out of the truck and looked around at the scenery. I pulled the map out and examined the web of lines.

"I went this way," she pointed to a spot that wasn't even close to resembling a path. It was covered in dense growth.

"Hmm."

"What?"

I looked at the clearly marked trail and then to where she'd pointed and back again. "I would have figured you for a trail kind of girl."

"Not me," she attempted a really pathetic smile. "I'm a rebel."

I laughed, watching her carefully. _Rebel, my butt! _I wasn't stupid. If I had to put money on it, I would bet that the last time Bella had come to this place, she hadn't been alone. I hated that I was helping her find Cullen's ghost. When I heard my teeth grinding, I took a deep breath. I couldn't let Bella see that I knew what was really going on.

I pulled out the map, smoothing it against my chest. "Give me a second." I held up the compass, trying to get my bearings. I twisted the map around until it was angled just perfectly. "Okay - first line on the grid. Let's do it."

Bella walked slowly and stumbled constantly. I let her set the pace. I could have done this so much faster by myself. But the slower she went, the more time it would take us to find this meadow she was so sure was out here somewhere.

She was so quiet and the silence was driving me crazy. I started to whistle the tune I'd heard so many times from my grandfather. It helped me to relax and just enjoy the day - and the silence.

"Hey…Jake?" her voice was quiet, hesitant.

"Yeah?"

"How are things…with Embry? Is he back to normal yet?"

All the emotions whirled through my body again. Tears threatened my eyes and I walked away from her without answering. I cleared my throat and blinked, frantically trying to keep them at bay.

When I was finally able to gain some resemblance of composure, I stopped, turning to wait for her. "No. He's not back to normal," I said when she reached me. I continued walking, hoping she would drop the subject.

"Still with Sam?"

"Yup." I placed my arm around her shoulders, praying she wouldn't shrug it away like she always did. I needed to feel her near me. I needed the comfort only she could provide to me. I sighed when she left it there. Touching her was what I needed right now.

"Are they still looking at you funny?"

"Sometimes." I stared off into the forest, unable to make eye contact.

"And Billy?"

"As helpful as ever." I was so angry at my father for being evasive. I deserved an explanation.

"Our couch is always open," her sweet voice offered.

I couldn't help but laugh at her suggestion. "But think of the position that would put Charlie in - when Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping."

Her laughter joined mine and I felt a smile spread across my lips.

We walked until we'd reached the six mile mark and I led her west for a while before heading back down another line on the map. It started to get dark and our day of hiking was going to have to end. I knew we would find it eventually though.

"As long as you're sure we're starting from the right place…"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Then we'll find it." I wouldn't let her down. I grabbed her gently by the hand and guided her through the ferns. "Trust me."

"You're good. Next time we bring flashlights, though."

"We'll save hiking for Sundays from now on. I didn't know you were so slow."

She jerked her hand out of mine dramatically, pretending to pout and stomped over to the driver's side. I chuckled at her theatrics.

"So you up for another try tomorrow?"

"Sure. Unless you want to go without me so I don't tie you down to my gimpy pace."

"I'll survive," I smiled at her. "If we're hiking again, though, you might want to pick up some moleskin. I bet you can feel those new boots right now."

She cringed, "A little."

"I hope we see the bear tomorrow. I'm sort of disappointed about that," I changed the subject.

"Yes, me too. Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow and something will eat us!"

"Bears don't want to eat people. We don't taste that good." I grinned, thinking about how Bella's skin might taste. I inwardly sighed. "Of course, you _might _be an exception. I bet you'd taste good."

"Thanks so much," she mumbled, avoiding my stare.

My grin grew to a full smile as I continued to consider how good Bella's kisses would be.


	5. Third Wheel

Chapter Five - Third Wheel

Time flew by much too quickly. Bella had become better on her bike. She could even remain upright and blood free. We spent a lot of time looking for the meadow she assured me existed. I was beginning to have my doubts though.

I was definitely falling for Bella - hard. Being with her made everything that was wrong with the world, right. My heart skipped a beat when she smiled and my stomach did flips when my name crossed her perfect lips.

Today was a day for sweethearts. I had mine, even if she didn't think I was hers. There was no way I was going to let the day go by without giving Bella a little something to show her I'd been thinking of her. It wasn't nearly big enough to come close to how much I loved her, but it would have to do. The moon was a little out of my price range.

I sat on the porch fumbling with her little gift, waiting. When I put my heart on the line, it always made me a little nervous. She shot me down more than not, but when she did give me a little hope, the feelings were overwhelming. I closed my eyes and imagined how her lips might feel.

I heard her truck rumbling down the road and I lifted my face to see her beautiful face grinning through the windshield. She cut the engine and I waved, unable to subdue my smile. I hopped off the porch and walked over to meet her. I wanted to pull her into a hug, but decided against it.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I held the little box of conversation hearts out to her, feeling foolish.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck." I tried to hide my disappointment that she hadn't thought of getting me something. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

"You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine?" I asked, hopeful. "Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do," I teased her, wishing she would throw her arms around me and plant a kiss on my lips.

"What exactly does that entail?" She was cautious. At least she didn't run for the hills, screaming.

"The usual - slave for life, that kind of thing." I tried to keep the mood light, yet I would gladly submit myself to a lifetime of servitude to Bella.

"Oh, well, if that's all…"

My heart stopped for the moment that her hand touched mine when she took the candy. She'd accepted my gift. Bella tried really hard to keep her boundaries clear and I knew it frustrated her that I continually stepped over the lines. I would push them as far as I dared. One day, with a little luck, she'd give in.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking, or the ER?" I chuckled.

"Hiking. You're not the only one who can be obsessive. I'm starting to think I imagined that place…."

"We'll find it." _As long as it exists. _I too wondered if this elusive meadow was nothing more than a figment of her imagination. "Bikes Friday?"

"I'm going to a movie on Friday. I've been promising my cafeteria crowd that I would go out forever."

_Oh, well, I didn't expect that. _My heart fell to my feet. Her eyes searched mine before I quickly began to examine the dirt. Disappointment was an understatement. I was crushed. I'd been such a doofus, assuming that she only wanted to spend time with me.

"You'll come too, right?" she amended quickly. "Or will it be too much of a drag with a bunch of boring seniors?"

_Did she just invite me to a movie? Woo Hoo! _I rubbed my hands together and willed my feet to stay firmly on the ground. "You'd like me to come, with your friends there?" I asked quickly to make sure I'd heard her correctly.

"Yes. I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party."

"Quil's gonna freak. Senior girls," I chuckled, thinking of him making a fool of himself as he tried to impress them.

"I'll try to get him a good selection," she laughed.

XOXOXOX

I felt like I now had a deadline to get my car finished. With all Bella's friends going to the movies, I had something to prove - to Bella. I wasn't as young as everyone thought. I certainly looked older and I felt more mature than my sixteen years.

I grabbed a wrench and twisted the last few bolts under the hood of my car. I climbed into the driver's seat and held my breath. I turned the key and the engine rumbled to life. Elation filled my soul and a huge amount of gratification coursed through my veins. I hoped Bella would be impressed by my accomplishment.

Friday morning, I strolled through the parking lot at school just in time to see Quil being escorted into the principal's office by campus security.

"You missed it," some senior guy informed me with a smug grin plastered across his idiot face.

"Missed what?"

"Quil getting his butt kicked."

"Really?" I replied sarcastically, glancing again in his direction. He didn't look any worse for the wear. I dismissed the moron and his group of laughing cronies and kept walking.

I waited for Quil to show up in our first period class, doodling absentmindedly on my notebook. He strolled in about ten minutes after the tardy bell. "Interesting morning?" I muttered under my breath.

"Yeah," he groaned.

"Your mom's not going to be happy."

"I know," he groaned. "She told me if I got caught fighting again, she was going to…"

"Mr. Ateara, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

"No, ma'am. Sorry." He stole another quick glance at me and grinned. "At least I got in a good punch, right," he chuckled softly. The teacher cleared her throat and mumbled on and on about the history of World War Two.

The day was painfully slow. The anticipation of going out with Bella tonight was almost more than my heart could handle. I was sure it would burst out of my chest. I hoped that the kids from Forks High were planning on pairing off and that she would be paired with me.

The final bell rang signaling the end of the week. I met up with Quil and we walked out of the doors after school.

"So, I'm going out to a movie with Bella tonight," I informed him with a smile. _It wasn't a lie._

"You have a _date_ with Bella?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, it's kind of a group thing."

"Yeah, how big of a group thing?"

"It's just a few of her friends…and me. She invited you," I finished with a grin.

"Well, that just bites! There's no way my mom's going to let me go after what happened this morning."

"Sorry, Dude, I guess that means I'll have her all to myself."

"Her other friends will be there," he reminded me with a smile.

"Yes, but you won't be," I threw my head back in laughter. I climbed into my car and headed toward Bella's.

I pulled up in front of her house. I got out and leaned against the hood, waiting for her to get home from school. Her eyes met mine through her windshield and a smile spread across my face.

"No way!" she screamed, jumping out of her truck and running over to greet me. "You're done! I can't believe it! You finished the Rabbit!" She seemed almost as excited as I was that I'd finally finished it.

"Just last night. This is the maiden voyage."

"Incredible." She held her hand up for a high five.

I reached my hand out slapping it lightly to hers, but instead of pulling it away, I intertwined my fingers with hers. I loved touching her - feeling her skin against mine. "So do I get to drive tonight?"

"Definitely," the excitement still in her voice, then she sighed.

"What's wrong?" Her sigh puzzled me.

"I'm giving up - I can't top this one. So you win. You're oldest."

"Of course I am." I grinned and shrugged, quite pleased with myself.

An old piece of crap Suburban came puttering around the corner and Bella quickly pulled her hand from mine. I didn't want to admit that my feelings were hurt by her reaction, but I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. I dropped my eyes and turned my head in hopes of keeping my emotions to myself.

I looked back at the approaching vehicle. "I remember this guy," I hissed as the arrogant jerk parked on the opposite side of the street. "The one who thought you were his girlfriend." My eyes locked on hers. "Is he still confused?"

"Some people are hard to discourage," she replied incredulously, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Then again," I responded carefully to her implication, "sometimes persistence pays off."

"Most of the time it's just annoying, though."

The clueless loser got out of his car and came to join us.

"Hey, Bella," he smiled at Bella. His face lighting up like a freakin' Christmas tree. Then his face fell as he looked _up _at me. I tried to hide the satisfaction I felt at his obvious discomfort.

"Hey, Mike! Do you remember Jacob Black?"

"Not really." He offered his hand to me.

_Yeah, you know exactly who I am. _"Old family friend," I informed him, winking at Bella. I took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He pulled his hand away, flexing his fingers. I wanted to laugh. _What a dork! _

"I'd better get that…" Bella said when the phone rang in the house, "it might be Charlie."

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Newton was watching Bella go into the house - just as I was. She had a great walk, her tight rear and tiny waist. My breathing became uneven as I thought of her. Even in jeans and a simple sweater, she looked hot. I closed my eyes trying to control the hormones that were threatening to take over.

I turned my attention to my competition. I recognized the look on his face. His thoughts had been in a similar place as he witnessed Bella's exit.

My blood began to boil. He had no right to think of _my_ Bella that way. I knew it was ridiculous to feel so possessive; but in this moment, I wanted to strangle the cocky little twerp.

I stifled a laugh, covering it with a cough. He actually looked nervous standing here alone with me. _As he should, _my mind snickered.

He was nothing special. I would never understand what the girls saw in him. He was supposed to be their big man on campus; yet he barely came up to my shoulder and his physique looked weak next to mine. I laughed right out loud at the thought of him standing next to Quil.

"What's so funny?" he growled.

"Nothing," I dropped my eyes, not even trying to hide my smile. I started kicking at a rock on the ground. There was no need in provoking him. Bella was going to be back soon.

"Ang is sick. She and Ben aren't coming."

"I guess the flu is making another round," the moron confirmed Bella's statement. "Austin and Conner were out today, too. Maybe we should to this another time."

_Yeah, you should do it another time. Leave Bella to me, tonight. _"I'm still up for it. But if you'd rather stay behind, Mike -" I goaded him.

"No, I'm coming," he interrupted, narrowing his eyes at me. "I was just thinking of Angela and Ben. Let's go." He started off in the direction of his vehicle and I wondered if Bella would remember her promise.

"Hey, do you mind if Jacob drives?" Bella's question stopped Mike in his tracks. "I told him he could - he just finished his car. He built it from scratch, all by himself," she sounded so proud. The look on Mike's pitiful face was priceless as he listened to her brag on my great accomplishment.

"Fine," he finally snapped, backtracking toward my car.

"All right, then," I grinned, feeling as though I'd just won a battle in the war I also intended to win. I slid behind the wheel and turned the key. The ignition purred and Bella smiled. Mike, however, was pouting in the backseat. _Like that's attractive at all._

Bella and I talked about a variety of subjects, ignoring the child sulking behind Bella.

"I can't believe he got himself grounded for fighting," she laughed, shaking her head.

"I know he was pissed that his mom wouldn't let him come tonight."

"Yeah, I'm kinda bummed too," she teased, her eyes twinkling brightly.

Suddenly, Mike leaned forward, resting his chin on the seat too close to Bella's for my comfort. I wanted to slam on the brakes hopefully sending him crashing into the rear of Bella's seat. My foot twitched on the accelerator, but Bella casually moved in the seat, shifting away from him. I smiled, pressing the gas pedal toward the floorboard.

"Doesn't the radio work in this thing?" Mike asked in bitter irritation.

"Yes, but Bella doesn't like music," I replied nonchalantly, implying that I knew Bella better than he did.

"Bella?" his tone was annoyed, which I was sure was aimed at me.

"He's right," she muttered quietly. Through my peripheral vision I saw her staring at me, but didn't turn my face to meet her eyes.

"How can you not like music?" he asked in disbelief.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It just irritates me."

_Or is just too painful, _my thoughts speculated at the truth.

"Hmph." He leaned back in the seat, reinstating the pouting.

We got to the theatre and of course, big man came across someone he knew. Bella waved politely to the couple holding hands in the parking lot, but continued walking toward the box office.

She had picked a movie I was too young for, being only sixteen, so I handed her a ten-dollar bill.

"What's this?" she asked, looking at the money in her hand.

"I'm not old enough to get into this one," I reminded her, embarrassed for the first time tonight.

Her laughter broke the awkwardness. "So much for relative ages. Is Billy going to kill me if I sneak you in?"

"No. I told him you were planning to corrupt my youthful innocence," I chuckled. _Not the innocence I wish she'd corrupt_.

Bella giggled and moron Mike hurried to catch up with us. I wished he had decided to take a rain check. It would have made the evening much more enjoyable - for both of us.

The movie was exactly the blood bath it was advertised as. The people in the theatre were reacting to the gore splattering all over the screen. Girls were cringing into their dates' shoulders and the guys were attempting to remain tough - unaffected.

I, however, found it amusing. I couldn't help the snickering that escaped my body.

"What?" Bella hissed.

"Oh, c'mon! The blood squirted twenty feet out of that guy. How fake is that?" I pointed out the obvious to her. From that point on, she joined me, laughing along at the ridiculous pandemonium occurring in front of us.

I placed my hand on the armrest, palm up, hoping she would take it. I was never scared to just grab her hand when I wanted to feel her, but here in the dark with the loser sitting on her other side, I knew it wouldn't be appropriate. If she put her hand in mine, though… My heart quickened at the thought.

She folded her arms tightly across her chest in protest. I knew that was her way of not encouraging me, but I would leave my hand waiting for her just in case she changed her mind.

A few minutes later, Mike, the moron was leaning forward with his head in his hands. I thought I heard him groan.

"Mike, are you okay?"

I looked over Bella's shoulder at him. He was covered in sweat and his coloring wasn't right. _Wuss! _I thought.

"No, I think I'm sick." He groaned again, racing for the door.

I was on my feet, anticipating Bella's next move.

"No, stay. I'll make sure he's okay," she mumbled.

I wasn't about to give him any kind of advantage though.

"You don't have to come. Get your eight bucks worth of carnage," she encouraged me.

"That's okay. You sure can pick them, Bella. This movie really sucks." We walked out of the darkness and there was no Mike Newton to be found.

I checked the bathroom where, sure enough, Mike was bent over a toilet, hurling the contents of his stomach into the bowl. I left him to his gagging and returned to Bella.

"Oh, he's in there, all right," I rolled my eyes in disgust, laughing. "What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit."

"I'll keep my eyes out for someone like that," she replied sarcastically.

The halls of the theatre were completely desolate, only the sound of the popcorn popper could be heard. I sat on the fuzzy-upholstered bench that was on the opposing wall and patted the spot next to me. "He sounds like he was going to be in there for a while," I stretched my legs out in front of me, getting comfortable.

She sat down next to me and sighed. I draped my arm over her shoulders, half expecting her to push it away. I enjoyed distorting the definition of our relationship that Bella seemed determined to stick to.

"Jake," she warned, pulling away from me.

I dropped my arm, but took her hand in mine, holding it tight. She tried to remove it from my grip so I wrapped the fingers of my other hand around her wrist.

"Now, just hold on a minute, Bella," my voice sounded calm despite the violent pounding of my heart. "Tell me something."

She cringed slightly and I knew I was pushing her further than she wanted to go, but my heart couldn't handle not knowing the truth any longer.

"What?" she groaned.

"You like me, right?"

"You know I do."

"Better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" I motioned toward the bathroom.

"Yes."

"Better than any of the other guys you know?" _That are smart enough to be part of your life? _I amended in my mind. I fought to keep my emotions away from my face, acting indifferent.

"Better than the girls, too."

"But that's all," I muttered more to myself than anything. I wanted her to feel for me what I felt for her. I absolutely adored this girl.

"Yes," she answered quietly.

I forced a grin, not wanting her to see the hurt I felt. Other guys would probably take that and leave. However, I never would - never could. "That's okay, you know. As long as you like me best. _And_ you think I'm good-looking - sort of." I purposely used the term she had a few weeks ago. "I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent."

"I'm not going to change," her voice sounded so sad.

_Damn you, Edward Cullen! _I hated him more every day. He had left her so devastated that she wouldn't even let me pick up the pieces. "It's still the other one, isn't it?"

Her face contorted at my question.

"You don't have to talk about it," I squeezed her hand gently, comforting her the best I could.

She nodded slowly, unable to meet my eyes.

"But don't get mad at me for hanging around, okay?" I tapped my hand on the back of hers. "Because I'm not giving up. I've got loads of time." I wouldn't give up until she allowed me to heal her.

"You shouldn't waste it on me," she sighed. She said the words, but I wondered how she would handle it if I did choose to walk away.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me." Each phrase was carefully formed in my mind to lead Bella to answer in a way that would be telling. I held my breath until I received her answer.

"I can't imagine how I could _not_ like being with you."

A huge smile spread across my face, threatening to crack it. "I can live with that." _I can definitely live with that._

"Just don't expect more," she whispered, trying to pull her hand out of mine.

I refused to let go though. "This doesn't really bother you, does it?" I asked, squeezing her fingers.

"No."

"And you don't care what _he_ thinks?" I was pretty confident of what her answer would be; however, until she voiced it, I was still nervous.

"I guess not."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that it means something different to me than it does to you."

I knew my feelings for her were stronger than hers were for me, but it didn't matter. I would wait patiently. I tightened my grip on her hand. "Well, that's _my_ problem, isn't it?"

"Fine," she conceded. "Don't forget it, though."

"I won't. The pin's out of the grenade for me, now, eh?" I playfully poked at her ribs. I had laid all my cards out on the table. I had all but told her that I loved her.

She rolled her eyes and I laughed. I let the silence solidify everything into her thoughts. I wanted her to understand how I felt about her without coming across as threatening. I lightly traced circles on her hand with my pinky while lost in my own mind.

My finger kept moving over a cold spot on her hand and I examined it closely. "That's a funny scar you've got there." I pulled it closer to scrutinize it. "How did that happen?" I moved my finger over the spot, feeling a slight temperature difference.

"Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars come from?"

"It's cold." I pressed lightly on the crescent shaped place that was a shade lighter than her other skin.

Just then Mike stumbled out of the bathroom, looking repulsive. His face was a sick gray and his once spiky hair was now matted to his head. He was covered in sweat.

"Oh, Mike," Bella gasped.

"Do you mind if we leave early?" he moaned.

"No, of course not," she responded, pulling her hand out of mine and running to meet him, holding his elbow.

Bella was paying more attention to his unsteady steps to notice his face. His eyes met mine and a his lips pulled upward into a weak smile.

"Movie too much for you?" I grinned when my question wiped the smug look off his face.

He glared at me. "I didn't actually see any of it. I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" Bella reprimanded him as he stumbled toward outside.

"I was hoping it would pass," he mumbled.

I saw visions of vomit filling the backseat of my car. "Just a sec," I hurried back to the concession stand. "Could I have an empty popcorn bucket?" She took one look at Mike and quickly handed over the bucket.

"Get him outside, please," she pleaded, shooing us outside. She didn't want puke on the floor any more than I wanted it in my car.

I followed Bella and Mike out the door. The cool air hit us and he took a deep breath. Bella and I stuffed him into the backseat and I shoved the bucket into his hands. "Please," was all I could say.

All the windows were rolled down and the ice cold air was whipping through the car. Bella pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, trying to stay warm.

"Cold, again?" I put my arm around her shoulders, sure she wouldn't push my warmth away.

"You're not?"

I shook my head to answer her. I wasn't at all cold, not even slightly. In fact, the cool air felt good.

"You must have a fever or something," she mumbled. She reached over, placing her icy fingers to my forehead. "Whoa, Jake - you're burning up!"

"I feel fine. Fit as a fiddle." _For the most part._

Her face fell and she pressed her cold hand to my forehead again. It felt like she had just placed an ice cube against my skin.

"Your hands are like ice," I grumbled at her.

"Maybe it's me."

A groan came from behind us and Mike hurled. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure he hadn't sullied my car.

Nobody said anything as we continued the journey to Bella's. I left my arm securely draped over Bella. Her skin did feel cold against mine. I steadied the steering wheel with my knee and quickly brushed my forehead with the back of my hand. I didn't feel warm to myself.

We got to Bella's and she insisted on driving Mike's suburban home. I followed them and drove her back home; both of us quiet on the return trip. I wanted Bella to love me. But my wants didn't really matter right now. It was all about what Bella wanted. What Bella needed.

She seemed to need me, but I knew I wasn't who she _wanted_. For the second time tonight, I cursed that idiot, Edward Cullen.

I didn't feel right as we pulled up beside her truck; not necessarily sick, just off. I stopped the car and she hesitantly put her hand on the door handle.

"I would invite myself in, since we're early. But I think you might be right about the fever. I'm starting to feel a little…strange."

"Oh no, not you, too! Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No." I shook my head, pulling my eyebrows together. "I don't feel sick yet. Just…wrong. If I have to, I'll pull over."

"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I could hear the anxiety in her question. I was so glad that she worried about me.

"Sure, sure." I stared out into the darkness, not wanting to alarm Bella by seeing my nervousness. I had something I needed to say to her. I didn't want to sound pathetic or stupid. I bit on my lip.

She opened the door and I grabbed her wrist, stopping her exit.

"What is it, Jake?"

"There's something I want to tell you, Bella…but I think it's going to sound kind of corny."

She huffed, anticipating where I was going with the conversation. "Go ahead."

"It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down - I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"

It seemed that the proverbial grenade kept getting bigger and bigger as the night went on. My heart was on my sleeve and I worried as to what Bella was going to do with all the information I'd given her tonight.

"Yeah, Jake. I know that. And I already do count on you, probably more than you know."

_She counts on me. _She just verified the _needing _me part. I smiled, fighting the urge to hug her. I needed her too.

A strange wave of heat hit me and I felt all wrong. "I really think I'd better go home now." I hated cutting our conversation short, but I didn't want to get all soft in front of her.

"Call me!" she hollered as I pulled away.

I watched Bella in the rear view mirror until she was gone. In spite of the weird things going on with my body, I felt like I could fly. I replayed our conversation over in my head. She made me so happy. I loved her. I couldn't deny my feelings any longer.

She would probably never forget Cullen; but for the first time, the possibility of Bella loving me was real. My heart started to pound and an uncomfortable warmth spread through my body.

I wiped my brow with the back of my hand, expecting it to be covered with sweat. It was dry.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I yelled, smiling so big it hurt. Another wave of heat flooded my veins. It felt like my blood was molten lava consuming me.


	6. Instruction

Chapter Six - Instruction

It had been only minutes since I'd left Bella's, but it felt like hours. I already missed her. As much as I wanted to hang out more, I couldn't stay there any longer. Something was definitely wrong with me. I rammed my foot down, pressing the accelerator to the floor. _Dad will know what to do, _I tried to comfort myself. My mind was racing, attempting to figure out what was happening to me.

My heart continued to race, sending intense agony coursing through my body with each beat. My hands began shaking on the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve dangerously on the road. These strange feelings were really beginning to scare me. I hoped I wasn't dying.

I pulled in front of the house and stepped out of the car. The weird feelings had subsided for the moment so I quickly entered the house. My father was sitting in front of the television and turned to look at me when I stumbled in.

"Jake, you don't look so good. Are you feeling all right?"

My mind recognized that the rage I felt toward him in that moment was irrational, but my body refused to listen to my brain. The anger was starting to take over, causing me to feel like I was spinning out of control. The feelings were so fierce, I started shaking - violently. It felt like I was going to explode right out of my skin.

Terror began to fill me as the shaking continued to get worse. I couldn't figure out what's happening to me. My bones felt like they were melting.

My dad watched me suspiciously, which only contributed to my fury. The room started to blur as I felt like my body was going to suddenly burst into a million pieces. I wondered if this was the end. Bella was the only thing I could think of through the excruciating pain.

The shaking had finally subsided, but the anger was still very much consuming me. Dad cowered in the corner, shrinking away from me. I struggled desperately to find some kind of explanation for what was happening. Was this that bizarre coming of age thing he had been so vague about? His eyes never left mine. I couldn't help but think he knew exactly what was going on and I wanted the answers he wouldn't give me before. I wanted them now. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but all that came out was a pathetic yowling sound.

I took a step toward him and the whole house shook. I reached out to him and a paw swiped at his face. I jerked my hand back in a panic. What had I become? Did he know about this? Had he been expecting it? My questions only fueled the fire that was consuming me.

He edged toward the phone, dialing the numbers. He muttered something into the phone and I could feel myself starting to relax slightly, until he said Sam's name. The fury began to build again.

My dad was speaking to me like I was a child, encouraging me to go outside. I only resigned to going back out into the night because the room felt cramped and I needed to think.

I stood in the yard as an oversized dog. Sam showed up with his little gang that turned out to be his _pack_. A pack it seemed I was a member of. The guys were the same ones I recognized, yet I watched as they melted into wolves right before my eyes.

Immediately, the voice started in my brain.

_It's okay, man, _Embry's voice entered my head. _Just try to stay calm._

_You want me to stay calm, _I shouted at him. _What the hell am I?_

_Take a deep breath, Jake, _Sam said quietly. _I'll explain everything._

Dad sat nervously on the porch, watching us. The phone rang and given the time I knew it'd be Bella. By the third ring, Dad still didn't move and I growled my displeasure.

The fourth ring, he still didn't move. I snarled.

The fifth ring, he looked over his shoulder. I howled for the first time. It was a very liberating sound to make.

The sixth ring, he wheeled himself inside. My anxiety growing. I looked down at the paws that once were the hands that held Bella's and cursed them.

The seventh ring. _Please don't hang up, Bella. Help me! _What a ridiculous thought! No one can help me now.

The eighth ring. "Hello?" my father's voice could easily be heard with my new super sensitive hearing. I ached to hear the voice of the person on the other end of the line.

"He's here," he confirmed coolly. I growled in anger at how he was dismissing Bella. He paused to listen to her. I stepped closer in hopes of hearing her sweet voice.

"Jake," Sam warned.

My dad's voice was quiet as he continued his conversation with Bella, "He was…to sick to call." He sounded preoccupied and I wondered if she was buying his story.

"No, no. We're fine," he lied. "Stay at your place," his words rushed out and he sounded rude. "Bye Bella." He ended the call and I felt as though he had also just ended everything that mattered in my life.

The hours that followed were filled with instructions and explanations by my fellow pack members. Embry was the most helpful, probably because I didn't hate him.

The one thing that kept running through my mind was Bella. I had promised her I would be there for her no matter what. Now I was being told I could never see her again.

_Bella. Oh, Bella. _She was all that mattered to me.

_Are you kidding me?_

_Paul, don't, _Embry warned.

_He needs to know the truth, _Paul snarled at the group before returning his attack to me. _Don't you get it, lover boy? Your beloved Bella loves the reason you're like this!_

_What? _If I hadn't been so stunned by his statement, I would have ripped his throat out for the way he was talking about Bella.

_Think about it, Einstein! You're standing in your yard as a wolf, surrounded by your pack. _

I stared at the group, refusing to accept what I was being told.

_The superstitions, _Paul growled sourly.

I made eye contact with each of my brothers, then examined my own furry form.

_They're all true, _Embry's calm voice spoke to me.

_The cold ones? _even in my mind, my voice cracked.

_Yes._

_She loved them! _Paul shouted, animosity oozing with every word.

_She couldn't have known… _

_Don't delude yourself there, Jake, _Paul sneered.

_Bella's a smart girl, _Embry reminded me softly.

Sam spoke and a hush fell among my brothers, _Jacob, I know this is all hard for you to accept, _his voice was calm and soothing. _We are almost certain that she knew their secret._

_But, _I replayed the sight of Bella coming to the garage, looking so broken. _He's a monster!_

_In more ways than one, _Sam grumbled.

Suddenly, my mind was bombarded with images of Bella laying lifeless on the forest floor, muttering 'he's gone' over and over as tears streamed down her beautiful cheeks.

_Stop it! _I roared. I didn't want to believe any of this. She loved a monster; an even bigger monster than I was now. My thoughts abruptly hit a wall as I recalled my conversation with Bella on the beach forever ago.

_You told her?_

_I thought it was a stupid superstition._

_Do you really think they care that Jake told Bella? _Jared threw in his two cents for the first time all night. _They seemed pretty pleased with the fact that she knew._

_Let's just hope they don't come back and challenge it, _Sam interjected.

Sam dismissed the group and I began my protests over not being allowed to see Bella.

_It's just not safe, _his voice growled.

Images began flashing across my mind. Leah Clearwater's face was the first one I saw. I felt the love he had for her. It was strong, but didn't hold a candle to what I felt for Bella.

Then I saw Emily's face - her unmarred face. She was beautiful. The feelings Sam had for her were enough to make a man's heart explode. So much love. Devotion. He felt as though he were being torn in two, fighting his love for Leah and the passion he had for Emily.

I couldn't even describe the feelings I was experiencing through his heart. It was as if his soul belonged to Emily. That without her, nothing else was holding him to the planet.

_What are these feelings?_

_Imprinting. It's a rare wolf thing. It is how I found my mate. Emily is everything; my life, my soul, my love._

In the next moment, I was consumed with anguish and I watched Emily begging Sam for answers. I experienced through his eyes as he reached out to touch her face and tore gapping wounds in her flesh, disfiguring her.

Self loathing. Hatred. Anger. Fear.

There aren't words to describe the emotions running through my thoughts in that moment. I felt for him, pitied him. My heart beat frantically and I swallowed hard. If I ever did that to…

I watched in horror as he struggled for days in the forest trying desperately to become human again. Finally his thoughts showed me how to change back and I spent hours trying to accomplish the task. After what seemed like an eternity, I melted into the Jacob Black that Bella would recognize. I hurried to cover myself with whatever I could find.

"That was quick," Sam observed as if I'd just accomplished something spectacular. The last thing in the world I wanted to be good at was being a monster.

"It took me almost a full week to change back," Embry smiled, his eyes full of sympathy. My stomach clenched again at the look on his face.

"Just leave me alone," I hissed, retreating to the safety of my room. I pulled on some boxers and a pair of sweats before letting my emotions get the better of me. I laid on my bed and cried. I was sobbing like a baby. I felt foolish, but everything that was overwhelming me had to be released somehow.

My hopes and dreams of holding Bella, treasuring her as my own was now over. Life was over. I had no life without her in it.

The phone rang and I sniffed, and started racing to beat my father to the phone in hopes that it would be Bella. "Hello?" my voice cracked, still thick with the tears I'd been shedding a moment before.

"Oh, Jake," she sounded sympathetic. "You sound horrible."

"I feel horrible," I whispered. _She had no idea how horrible I felt._

"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

"I'm glad I went." The night I'd had with Bella was to be my final night of normalcy. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."

"You'll get better soon," she promised. "I woke up this morning, and I was fine."

"You were sick?" What a great friend I was. I'd been so wrapped up in my own disaster of a life that I didn't even realize she was feeling crummy.

"Yes, I got it, too. But I'm fine now."

"That's good," I muttered, no life in my voice.

"So you'll probably be better in a few hours."

"I don't think I have the same thing you did," I felt the tears threatening again as I reflected on my situation.

"Don't you have the stomach flu?"

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything," I whispered, honestly. I could hear the pain in my voice as I spoke to her. "Every part of me hurts."

"What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?"

"Nothing. You can't come here," I snapped. The truth was I wanted nothing more than to see her, but Sam had forbidden me to see her. Said it was an order. He was the alpha wolf and I had no other option but to obey it. No matter how badly I didn't want to.

"I've already been exposed to whatever you have," she declared bravely.

"I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again." My heart aching with every word.

"Jacob -"

"I've got to go," I spat the words out quickly, hoping she wouldn't protest. I wouldn't be able to refuse her again.

"Call me when you feel better."

"Right," I muttered, knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to contact her ever again. I said nothing, listening to her even breathing, longing to feel her hand touch mine.

"I'll see you soon."

"Wait for me to call." I didn't need her calling here. I couldn't have another conversation like this over and over.

"Okay…. Bye, Jacob."

Her goodbye felt so final. A single tear spilled over, rolling down my cheek. I brushed at it with the back of my hand.

"Bella," I whispered the most beautiful word ever spoken, and then hung up on the only thing that ever mattered to me in this world.

I laid my head on the table and sighed deeply.

"Jake?" my father asked quietly.

"Yeah," I responded without lifting my head.

"We need to speak with you."

"We?" I asked, turning around to see Harry Clearwater, Old Quil and the pack filing in behind my dad. "Oh…. Hi," I said, standing to shake hands with the incoming company.

Old Quil held onto my hand longer than the rest. "Jake, I'm very proud of you, son."

"Thank you, sir." As a kid, I grew up longing to hear praise from him. But right now, I didn't care about it anymore. Not when it came to my being an overgrown dog.

"Why don't we all sit down," my dad suggested. I almost laughed considering he had no choice but to sit.

I pulled out a kitchen chair and sat, everyone else following my lead. All the heads turned toward my dad and I stared at him, humbled. They did look at him as a leader.

"I think it'd be best if you explained things," he whispered to Old Quil.

"Very well." He took a deep breath and leaned forward in his chair. "Jacob, this must be very confusing for you."

_Confusing doesn't even cover it! _

"This calling you've been given is a very important one. You are a protector. Without you - all of you - the tribe is in great danger."

"But they're gone," I mumbled. "Why did I…"

"Sometimes things are set in motion and you can't change the course," my father chimed in.

"As I was saying," Old Quil again took control, "this is your job. You are to continue going to school, but contact with others is strictly prohibited. We can't have you bursting into a wolf in the presence of others," he chuckled lightly. I didn't find his remark at all funny.

From the sounds of what he'd just told me, seeing Bella again was out of the question. Sam forbid it and now, Old Quil had just banned me from seeing her as well. I would fight that. I had to see her. Without Bella in my life, nothing mattered. Nothing.

"Jake?"

"Sorry."

"Here," he held out an envelope, "this is for you."

I opened it to find a check made out to me. "This is a lot of money," I muttered, staring at the group in disbelief. Some might not think it was a substantial sum, but I was sixteen and used to having no money. So any amount was a lot.

"It's yours."

"Why? I haven't done anything."

"You are a protector, Jake." Old Quil smiled. "You can have a job someday, if you so choose, but you must _always _remember you're first obligation is to the tribe. The safety of your people has to be your first responsibility. Because of that, the tribe will continue to pay you for your much needed service to us."

I looked at the check signed by the three older men in front of me and looked up at the faces staring at me. I wondered how often I would get one of these checks, but didn't want to seem greedy so I said nothing.

"You will receive a check every Thursday."

"What's the catch?"

"You must never, under any circumstances, tell anyone about any of this. Someday when you are married, you may tell your wife, of course. But until then, you are not allowed to speak of it to anyone. Do you understand?" Harry explained with the utmost seriousness.

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. Sam can you handle any other questions."

"Yes. Thank you, sir."

"Good night." And with that Harry and Old Quil retreated into the night.

Days went by and I'd mastered transforming back and forth. When my brothers, mostly Paul, goaded me, I was able to stay a man by using images of Bella to calm myself.

Charlie had been driving my father and Harry Clearwater crazy with questions about my whereabouts. I could only assume that our being apart was as hard on Bella as it was on me. Not being with her was killing me, breaking my heart. I needed her, especially now.

Sam led us to the forest for training. We had a great session, strategizing with each other, physically releasing some of the pent up frustration I had. After hours of pummeling my brothers, Sam dismissed the group.

I shot a quick look over my shoulder to make sure they were gone. Embry was lagging behind, waiting for me. I decided to push the issue of not being allowed to see Bella.

"Sam, could I speak…"

"I'm not discussing this with you again. The answer is no. It will remain no. Don't ask again," his voice was deadly calm.

I glared at him, hoping that the hatred radiating from me would somehow make him explode; then his stupid rules wouldn't affect me. Telling me I couldn't see Bella…Really!

I turned my back on him and closed my eyes. I didn't want to burst into a wolf again. I took a deep breath to calm the shaking. I focused on Bella's face and felt relief.

It was true - all of it. _They_ were the reason I was a monster. The Cullen's departure didn't stop it and now I couldn't even mend the broken heart that filthy bloodsucker had left behind.

"It's NOT fair!" I roared, slamming my fist into a tree. There was a loud crack and the tree broke in two at the same spot I'd hit it. Shock coursed through my brain and I examined my hand for signs of damage. There weren't any. Maybe this wasn't _all_ bad.

"Cool, huh?" Embry tried to make this curse sound like a blessing. I narrowed my brows and growled. I rubbed my hand over my buzzed hair, another annoying reminder of all that I had lost. Everything had been perfect and then in a flash, it became a nightmare. A nightmare I didn't get the luxury of waking up from.

_Bella. _

My stomach turned as I thought of her. I promised her I would never hurt her and then I walked out of her life. The phone calls kept coming. My father had managed to put her off, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

Days later, we were back running through our exercises. Sam dismissed the guys and I again, approached him taking another chance to try to change his mind.

"Why can't I see Bella?" I snarled, daring Sam to forbid it yet again.

"Because it's too dangerous," he said calmly, never taking his eyes off of mine.

"I won't hurt her."

"You can't take that chance."

"I would never hurt her," I challenged.

"You think I _meant_ to hurt Emily?" he yelled; losing his temper for the first time since all of this had begun with me.

"No, I…" I started, knowing I'd pushed him too far. He glared at me, his nostrils flaring in anger. _"_I'm sorry, Sam."

"I am considering this issue closed_." _He phased and disappeared into the trees.

I would let the topic die for now. He hadn't really left me much of a choice. I decided to concentrate on learning how to control my wolfisms, grasping to the hope that control might be the key to them changing their minds. The running was awesome. The strength I'd just discovered was going to come in handy. And the thought of destroying the species that hurt Bella was going to be something I would enjoy very much.

_Did Bella really know what he was? _I know what my brothers implied, but could she really have known? The horrifying thought crossed my mind again and again. My stomach lurched and I felt sick. I literally doubled over at the possibility. _She couldn't have known, _I assured myself. _But if she did know and still loved that kind of monster, maybe… _I forced myself to stop this dangerous line of thinking.

I had been _ordered_ by the alpha wolf not to see Bella and I wasn't allowed to disobey a direct order.

_Damn, Sam!_


	7. The Meadow

Chapter Seven - The Meadow

I hated not being able to see Bella. It was a battle that I was not going to win. I'd given up on the physical Bella, but no one could remove her from my mind. No matter how much my brothers would like to.

She was all I ever thought about. She was the only thing that seemed to calm my rage. It was her memory that made phasing so easy. But it was her smiling face, forever etched in my mind, that made this curse unbearable. I loved her and always would.

The feelings I'd witnessed through Sam's thoughts of Emily were close to what I felt for Bella. Not exactly the same, but close - very close. I would have to find a way to have her back in my life.

Thankfully, Bella had not given up on me either. She called constantly. My father had even resorted to telling her I had mono. _Mono? The kissing disease? Come on, at least give me something believable! _

My paws pounded the dirt and I enjoyed the speed this curse had brought with it. At the moment, I was the only wolf running through the forest and found myself grateful that I was alone with my thoughts. That was an irritating side effect, never being alone with yourself. I hated that there were no secrets between the pack. All of my inadequacies, my faults and my failures were out there for my brothers to hear and see.

I couldn't help wondering how Bella was handling our being apart. I knew she kept trying to make contact, but I couldn't control the hope that there was more to it. _Did my absence make her heart grow fonder?_ Not that it really mattered. I wasn't allowed to see her.

I let out a howl of frustration, heading back to the house.

I grabbed a quick shower and rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. I was continually hungry. My stomach was a bottomless pit that was never satisfied. I sat down at the table and began to devour my sandwich when the phone rang. I stiffened in hopes that it would be her.

My father shot a quick glance at me over his shoulder and began wheeling toward the phone. We both knew it would be her. No one else ever called. The pack knew an easier way to get a hold of me.

The phone seemed to be ringing off the hook these days. When the mono excuse didn't stop Bella, my father decided to just let the phone ring and told Charlie the lines were down on the reservation. Today, however, I was here and would answer it myself if he didn't - breaking the rules.

"Fine," he snorted at me, reaching for the receiver. "Hello?" my father answered.

"Oh, hey, the phone is working again!" Bella's voice was a glorious sound. I wanted to jerk the handset out of his hand and speak with her. "Hi, Billy. It's Bella. I was just calling to see how Jacob is doing."

_She cares. I love her even more because she cares! _

"Is he up for visitors yet? I was thinking about dropping by -"

Her sweet request caused my heart to soar which triggered the shaking that signaled a change. I closed my eyes, using the memory of her face to fight against the monster wanting to manifest itself.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Dad interrupted her. "He's not in."

"Oh, so he's feeling better then?" the disappointment in her voice was obvious, causing what little control I'd managed to vanish.

My eyes flashed open, staring into his. He nodded and smiled, trying to comfort me. "Yeah," he finally answered Bella. "Turns out it wasn't mono after all. Just some other virus."

"Oh. So…where is he?"

"He's giving some friends a ride up to Port Angeles - I think they were going to catch a double feature or something." The lies continued to pour out of his mouth. "He's gone for the whole day."

"Well, that's a relief. I've been so worried. I'm glad he felt good enough to get out," the hurt was apparent in her voice and my heart ached for being the cause of her pain. Bitterness threatened to consume me.

I resented my father for lying to Bella. I resented Sam for denying my request to see her. I resented Edward Cullen for breaking her heart in the first place and I hated all those damn bloodsuckers for condemning me to this life.

I rubbed at my head, clenching my teeth and continuing to fight the constant shaking, while my dad talked to the only person that mattered to me in this whole cruel world, "Is there anything in particular you wanted?"

"No, not really."

"Well, I'll tell him that you called," he grinned weakly at me. "Bye, Bella." He hung up the phone before she could even mutter her goodbyes.

I stood quickly, sending the chair flying backward with a crash as it hit the floor. "I'll be in my room. I need a nap." His silence was response enough.

I slammed the door and collapsed onto my bed. I tossed and turned unable to find the rest my body so desperately needed. Sam had me training during the day and we were all patrolling at night.

There were new leeches in the area and they seemed to be attacking anything that moved alone in the forest. Hikers didn't stand a chance against them and everyone thought it was the 'super bear' that was the culprit. I laughed at their stupidity. We were those super bears and we were certainly not the threat. It was the dark-haired male and his red-haired mate.

We'd managed to track them, but were never able to get close enough to kill them. I wouldn't rest until they were wiped out of existence and I would enjoy doing it.

I finally drifted into a fitful sleep that was plagued with nightmares.

Bella was in the arms of her bloodsucker. His lips were pressed against hers and she moaned quietly. His kisses turned eager - more violent - as they moved along her jaw line until finally he pulled his head away. His eyes opened, revealing the blood lust consuming him. He pierced his teeth into her delicate flesh as a scream escaped her lungs.

My scream echoed that of Bella's. I sat up, covered in sweat. It took only seconds to realize it was a dream. I jumped to my feet and headed outside.

I shed my clothing and phased, my paws pounding steadily along the forest floor as I tried to outrun the scenes that kept replaying in my mind.

_I've got him! _Jared's excited thoughts shouted.

I darted in the direction of his voice and ran with eagerness. The anticipation of taking my frustration for the Cullens out on a leech was almost more than I could handle.

_The clearing near the Cullens. Hurry, _Paul thoughts were practically giddy.

_He's not alone, _Embry warned us. _Um, Jake, he's with Bella._

_Bella? _What the hell? I tripped over my own feet and slammed into a tree. Was she happy to see him? Had the Cullens sent him for her? I shook off my own aggravation and ran to get some answers.

I skidded to a stop when Bella and the bloodsucker came into view. My brothers focused on the scene before us, awaiting Sam's word. I concentrated on my breathing, watching Bella. Oh, how I missed her. My heart thumped at just the sight of her. I took another deep breath, trying to control myself.

The breeze blew in my face, carrying with it the scent I recognized instantly as Bella's - mixed with the disgustingly sweet scent of a vampire. Every muscle in my body tensed, preparing to attack.

_Not yet, Jake. If he's a friend… _Sam cautioned._ We don't want a war._

_The hell we don't! _Paul snarled, edging forward.

"Mouthwatering," the leech muttered breathlessly.

Horror struck me. This was no friend. He was going to attach her. _We can't wait until he bites her!_ I screamed.

The bloodsucker took another deep breath and caught our scent. He whipped his head to search the forest for us. I knew we were camouflaged well and wouldn't be seen until we were ready to reveal ourselves.

We watched him, all of us poised for the command that would end the parasite's pitiful existence. "Slowly. We don't want it to attack Bella. Jared you take point."

He took a step closer and the bloodsucker cautiously began its retreat, stepping backward. It never took its eyes off of the spot where we were standing, hidden by the foliage.

Bella's eyes were locked on the danger standing in front of her. It seemed as though her feet were frozen to the spot where she stood.

The leech reluctantly began backing away from Bella. "I don't believe it," it muttered, shaking its head.

Bella turned her head to look in our direction. My breath caught and my heart rate accelerated at the sight of her beautiful face. The one I'd been picturing to keep myself in control hadn't done the real thing justice. She was so scared. I wanted to run to her, wrap her in a hug and protect her from the world.

_Focus Jake, _Sam ordered. _Ready?_

_Hell, yeah! _Paul inched forward in anticipation.

_Okay, Jared. Go. _

With Jared at point, we headed into the clearing. He let out a snarl - a warning.

Bella's eyes widened in shock as Jared, followed by Sam and Paul then Embry and me. I was the one closest to her and I could feel the anxiety oozing from her. I got as close as I dared to her, struggling to remember my purpose for being here.

She gasped and jumped away from me. I turned my head and wanted to shout that it was me - that there was nothing to worry about, that I would protect her at all costs, but of course, she wouldn't hear me. Her eyes penetrated mine and for a moment, I wondered if she actually did recognize me.

_Jake, pay attention!_ Sam snarled.

I quickly returned my gaze to the leech as it started to back away, one cowardly step at a time, never taking its eyes off of us. It wasn't even trying to hide the fear.

_You should be scared! _I laughed.

It turned on its heel and ran into the forest.

_All right! Get it! _My brothers yelled, snarling and growling as we sprinted through the meadow and into the thick brush.

We were on it within seconds. Paul offered the first bite, tearing an arm off. The leech screamed, whipping around and slapping at Paul with the one that was still attached. Paul yelped and went flying into a tree.

In retaliation, Jared and Sam took it down. The parasite writhed in pain and resistance under them. There was no way I was going to miss this. I jumped in and so did Embry. I sunk my teeth into its marble-like flesh. I was surprised by how easily it shredded under the pressure of my jaws.

I glanced up and realized we very much resembled a real pack of wolves with a kill. We were gathered around, each taking our turn at tearing at the monster's body. I enjoyed destroying my natural enemy; especially because I'd been protecting Bella. For the first time since becoming a wolf, I was glad I had been able to be there for her. She was the only reason my life held any meaning anymore.

Maybe being in contact with her was out of the question, but I could protect her - keep her safe. That would have to be good enough.

I continued to take my frustration out on the parasite lying in front of me and, along with my brothers, completely shredded him. When it was totally disassembled, lying in a pile in front of us, we phased back to our human form and Sam held up a match.

"Jake, you do the honors."

"Gladly." I lit the stick between my fingers and tossed it on the mound in front of me. The sickly sweet stench accompanying the fire was nauseating. The flames dancing were hypnotic. I concentrated on them, letting my mind return to Bella and the fear on her face as she stared at me back in the meadow.

Moments later, there was only ash left behind and I turned to my brothers. "I'm going to check on Bella."

"No," Sam protested.

"I won't get near her, but I have to know that she's okay. I'm going." I turned my back to him and waited for his objections. None came.

I ducked behind a tree and shed my clothing, preparing to phase. As soon as I was in wolf form, Sam's voice entered my head, _Don't make contact with her, _he ordered.

I let out my frustration with a howl and took off in the direction of Bella's scent. I got to the clearing just as Bella was scrambling to her feet. She looked absolutely terrified. The girl I loved was running in fear, heading into the trees.

I phased back just in case she were to spot me. I was afraid that seeing me as an overgrown dog would be more than she could handle. So I followed her while she stumbled along through the undergrowth as the man she would recognize, if she were to catch a glimpse of me.

She was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. There was no rhyme or reason as to why she was running in the direction she was. Fear was the only thing controlling her actions. I wondered how on earth she'd made it so deep into the woods in the first place.

After much too long, she finally crumbled to the forest floor and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the compass and began studying it carefully. Her hands were shaking so badly, there was no way she'd be able to read it.

My heart ached over the pain she was enduring. I wanted to give her the assistance she needed and to assure her that everything was going to be okay. The threat was gone. She had nothing to be afraid of.

_But would she think of me as a monster? _

She made her way slowly through the forest, stopping every few minutes to sit the compass down, making sure she was going the right way. I kept my distance. I didn't want to scare her. Nor did I want to explain why I was here. I couldn't bear to have to walk away from her. Just watching her now was hard enough.

A jaybird called out of the silence, startling Bella and sending her toppling into a pine tree. Her hair was matted with sap and the scrape on her arm was beginning to show traces of blood. I stepped forward, reaching out to her. Only to hear Sam's protests echoing in my head. My heart broke as her frightened scream pierced the air.

_Oh, Bella, _my mind whined.

Again, the urge to protect her was overwhelming, only to be overridden by Sam's earlier order repeating painfully in my brain, _Don't make contact with her._

So I remained hidden, watching as she finally made it out of the trees and stumbled to her truck. When the door slammed with a bang, I felt relief wash over me. She only had to make it home to Charlie and he would help to calm her down. I followed the roar of Bella's truck, careful to stay camouflaged in the trees. She was a wreck and I worried that she wouldn't make it home in her state.

I continued to watch as the engine finally stopped and she ran into the house. I wondered what kind of explanation her mind would come up with to rationalize away what she had seen - Wolves. Monsters. Me.

I returned home to find my brothers mulling around the driveway.

"How's the vampire lover?" Paul snarled, adding a chuckle for effect.

Before anyone, including myself, realized what had happened, I was on top of him, my fist meeting his nose with a dramatic crunch.

"What the hell, Jake?" Embry yelled as his hands began to tug at my shoulders. I shrugged him away while Paul's elbow met the side of my face, knocking me from his chest. In a flash, Paul was snarling at me in his wolf form, encouraging me to follow.

"Enough!" Sam ordered with an authoritative glare. "Let's all head back to my place for a celebratory dinner. Let me just warn Emily," he smiled as her name crossed his lips. "Excuse me." He moved past us and into the house to use the phone.

I walked slowly away from my brothers, not wanting another confrontation. I leaned against a tree, thinking. Embry wandered over, picked up a stick and started to turn it into kindling. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I grunted, hoping he would believe my lie.

"Did she get home safe then?"

"Yeah."

"Bet you're glad you were a wolf today," he smiled.

I felt my face contort with the anger that was beginning to consume me. "Are you kidding me?" I roared. I was grateful I'd been able to protect her. But I would never be _glad_ I was a wolf. "She was scared stiff. She needed me and I wasn't there for her. If only I'd been with her…"

"If _you'd _been with her, it probably would have eaten you," he muttered, cringing at his own statement.

"I'd have been able to…"

"You'd have been able to be a tasty appetizer for it. A human doesn't stand a chance against a leech. The only reason Bella is still alive is because you're a wolf, Jake. It sucks that she had to be so freaked out, but at least her heart is still beating at this very moment."

I knew he was right, but I couldn't get over how angry his insinuations had made me. I hated this curse and his saying that it was a good thing…

A growl erupted from deep inside my gut, I slammed my head back into the tree, trying to release some of my frustration. A loud cracked rumbled and a crow squawked with irritation probably because I'd interrupted his nap. "Shut up," I yelled, looking up to see it fly onto the roof.

"Okay, guys, Emily's waiting," Sam's voice called from the porch.

I didn't really feel like spending more time with the guys, but I didn't want Emily to think it had anything to do with her. She had been really good to me and was more than patient with my bitter attitude.

XOXOXOX

I stomped into the house after our 'celebration' at Sam's. Emily had made a delicious dinner. She was a great cook and always tried to make us feel welcome and comfortable in her home.

I closed the door and my father called from down the hall, "Jake, is that you?"

"Yeah."

The squeaking of his chair told me he was coming out to meet me. I, inwardly, groaned. I wanted to be alone.

"How was your day?"

My first reaction was to yell at him, but I took a deep breath and simply muttered, "Fine."

"Sam said you got one today," he was beaming.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, we got it before it got Bella."

"That's great."

"Yeah, I guess," I moaned, turning back toward the door. "I'm going for a run."

I spent most of my time with my paws pounding on the soft dirt. It seemed to be the only way I found any solace in this hell that was now my life. I missed Bella horribly. Her smile. Her laughter. The comfort only she could offer.

Seeing her today had only made my heart remember the chunk of it that was missing. For the first time I understood the pain she was in the day she met me in the garage with the bikes and again, I loathed the bloodsucker who had caused her that kind of pain.

As the sun began to set, I headed for home. The lights were on in the kitchen and I groaned, knowing my father would want to talk.

"Did you have a good run?"

"Yeah."

"I talked with Charlie."

"Oh, yeah," I replied uninterested, even though my heart was racing with the hopes of getting any information on Bella.

"He said Bella saw giant wolves in the woods today."

"Interesting." Both of us were pretending that this information was new.

"He also said that Bella was really scared and that they're going to send out a search party to kill them."

"How stupid can you get? They are only going to hinder the job we have to do," I snarled.

"I know. I tried to talk him out of it, but…"

"But he's as stubborn as Bella and plans to get them - us."

"Yes," he confirmed. "You should probably let Sam and the guys know."

"I will. Thanks, Dad."

My hand was on the doorknob when my father spoke again, "I'm sorry, Jake. I know you miss her."

"Yeah," I grunted as my eyes began to sting with the tears I refused to shed.

"She misses you too."

"Yeah." _Doesn't change a thing._

I closed the door behind me and walked out into the trees. I gave myself a moment to wallow before phasing. _Hey, _I called to my brothers.

_Jake? _Embry's voice answered.

Within moments, the voices of the rest of my brothers started flooding through my mind. I informed them as to what Charlie had told my dad and we discussed what it might mean.

_We'll have to be careful to stay away from them, _Sam instructed.

_What if we're on a trail?_

_It's probably more important now than ever to stay out of sight of humans. We don't want to alarm them any more than they already are._

_Just what we need is a bunch more idiot humans stumbling through the forest carrying weapons that can't save them from the real monster that is stalking them, _Paul grunted the thoughts we were all thinking.

_Regardless, we have to play the hand we're dealt. They all think we're the danger so, stay out of sight, _Sam ordered again, reinforcing it with his authority as pack leader.

With that, I phased and headed back into the house. I walked right passed my father and into bed. My mind still swimming with the events of the day.

Bella needed me. And I needed her too. There had to be a way around the ban. I would find it. I had to.


	8. Confrontation

Chapter Eight - Confrontation

In the weeks since the leech nearly got Bella, I did little besides run and sleep. Neither of which were completely fulfilling. When I ran, so did my mind; thinking only of Bella and how much my situation sucked! When I slept, Bella was still in my thoughts, flashing between dreams and nightmares.

I recognized this particular one because it always seemed so real, which I found disturbing. Bella was in the meadow, talking casually with the dark-haired leech as he eyed her neck. But this time, I was alone and he attacked before I could. His sharp teeth piercing her creamy white skin. Her screams were always followed by a howl of my own.

My heart was beating violently against my chest. My breathing was forced and sweat covered my body. I shook my head and reminded myself over and over that it was only a dream. "Bella's fine," I said aloud, hoping that hearing the words might actually be able to convince my still overactive heart.

The beating I was feeling in my chest seemed to be matched by a pounding on the front door. I listened carefully as the squeaking tires headed toward the incessant angry knocking.

"Well, hello, Quil."

Quil. I'd been so obsessed with my lot in life that I had all but forgotten my best friend and how he might be feeling with my sudden absence. First, abandoned by Embry and now, me. This had to be hard on him too. Especially since he wasn't allowed to know the circumstances of why I would turn my back on him without warning.

"Don't hello me, Billy," he growled.

I rounded the corner just in time to see him push past my father, heading right toward me. His eyes met mine and he stopped in his tracks, glaring at me.

"Well, look who it is," he hissed, bowing in an attempt to mock me, "his royal highness, Jacob Black!" His brows formed a hard V and his eyes narrowed while they stared into mine. He took a deep breath, his hands balling into fists. "Too good for your friend?" his words were dripping with the same venom I would have used had I been able to actually talk to Embry.

"It's not like that…"

"What the hell has Sam got that I don't?"

"Someday you'll understand…" my father began to explain.

"With all due respect," he whipped around to glare at him, "I don't want to hear your hollow explanations, Billy. It's all a bunch of crap!"

"I'm sorry, Quil. Really, I am. If I had a choice…"

"Jake," my father warned.

"I wouldn't have chosen this for myself."

Quil stared at me, confused. I hoped that he could read the pain in my words and my eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I can't tell you."

"Thanks a lot," he hissed sarcastically. "Whatever, Dude." He turned on his heel.

I opened my mouth, but Billy held up his hand and I closed it again, watching as my friend walked out the door.

"This sucks!"

"With any luck, he'll phase in a few months and then it won't matter."

"Luck? You _want _this for him? This is a curse, Dad. A horrible curse that had taken away _everything _that's important to me."

"It's an honor, Jake."

"Sure, sure," I huffed. "I'm going over to Sam's. I'll be back later," I informed him.

It was late afternoon and it would soon be my turn to patrol. A new flame-haired leech had been spotted in the woods and dead bodies had popped up a little too much for the comfort of the good people of Forks.

My brothers and I were extremely frustrated by this particular parasite. We didn't understand her behavior at all. She remained elusive, avoiding us. We'd just killed her mate and yet, she didn't want to fight us, only get past us into Forks. It would make things so much easier if we could just figure out what she was after.

I finished my patrols early in the morning and returned home to a ringing telephone. I stood on the porch, listening to hear my father's, "Hello?"

I raked my fingers through my short hair, hoping Bella was okay.

"Well, hello, Charlie. How are things?" He paused. "Really? I'm sorry to hear that." I paced back and forth, listening to my Dad's side of the conversation. "Jake?" I stopped when my name was mentioned. "I'm sure he'll call her when he's ready," he lied.

"Okay, then. Goodbye."

Opening the door, I met my father's sad eyes. Fighting with Charlie had to be hard on him.

"Is she okay?" I asked.

"It seems she's real jumpy and is having nightmares again."

"And he blames me?"

"He's just worried about her."

"I am too! Doesn't this prove that she needs me?"

"That may be, but we can't risk something happening."

"I can't _risk_ Bella falling apart all because of these damn rules."

"Rules or not, Jake, you can't go against Sam or the council."

"I know," I growled, knowing this was a battle I'd already lost many times over. "I've got to get to school," I grunted, grabbing my backpack and heading back out the door.

When I got to my car, I realized I hadn't had a shower. I sniffed at my underarms. _Not too bad. Who was I trying to impress anyway? _Bella surely wasn't going to be around today.

School, I thought, would be a good way to fill my brain with something other than Bella. I was right.

I pulled into the parking lot to Quil waiting out front. He was pacing until he saw me and then he started out across the asphalt. Embry beat him to my car and Quil backed off and headed to class.

Quil was fuming in the chair next to me, but never said anything. As much as I hated what this was doing to Bella, Quil was being hurt by this too. It seemed that all his friends had just up and dumped him to run off and join a weird gang. _If he only knew._ I wanted to lean over and whisper the truth, but I couldn't.

_My life sucks!_

Over the last seven days, I spent little time at home. Dad complained that the phone was ringing off the hook and we both knew it had to be Bella. Her persistence was endearing and annoying all at the same time.

I couldn't bear to be so close and yet so far away from her sweet voice, so I stayed away from the source of the agony - the house and the ever ringing telephone.

I wanted to go for a run - the kind where only two feet were needed and I could be alone with my thoughts. When I mentioned it to Embry, he offered to join me.

The crunching of the rocks under my shoes was a welcome sound, one I'd missed.

"Jake! Embry!"

I didn't have to turn around to know who was calling us. _Quil._ At least when I was feeling abandoned by Embry, I had him. But now…

"Hey, guys! Wait!" his voice was begging, filled with so much pain and fear.

We'd been given no other choice but to head into the forest. When we were out of sight, we quickly phased and ran. _It sucks that we have to ditch him, _Embry's thoughts resembled my own as we ran from Quil's constant shouting.

We met up with Sam and the others and explained what happened with Quil. "Why can't we just tell him?" I asked.

"You know it doesn't work that way, Jake."

"But if everybody's so sure that it's only a matter of time, then what could it hurt?"

"It doesn't work that way."

As we debated whether or not things worked that way, we walked in the direction of my house.

"I agree with Jake," Embry took my side, "Quil should know we haven't just dumped him."

"In time, he will," Sam responded.

"What if that _time _never comes?" I hissed, my hands starting to shake. "He'll never know why we stopped hanging out with him."

"Jake," Sam's voice was calm, focused.

"I'm serious, Sam."

"Jake," he said, a little more urgency in his voice.

"I'm not going to let this go."

"Jake!"

"What?" I snarled, picturing Bella in my head in an attempt to stay in control.

"Look." He pointed just beyond the trees, toward the house.

I turned and beheld the most glorious sight. Bella. My heart stopped and the air flew from my lungs. I took a step forward.

"You can't see her."

"Oh, come on, Sam. She's not going to give up." I ripped my eyes from her and returned my stare to my brothers. "I can handle one little conversation with Bella."

"Fine," he conceded. "You can't reveal anything and you _must_ remain in control." He concentrated on my face. "Five minutes. Say whatever you have to so that she'll leave you alone. Hurt her if you have to. Emotionally, I mean."

"I can't."

"You can. This can't go on, Jake. Put a stop to it," he paused for effect, "or I will."

"Sure, sure," I snorted. With my back to my brothers, I allowed a quick smile before composing my face into the emotionless mask I'd seen Sam use.

Bella wasn't paying attention to anything but the diamonds she was doodling on a piece of paper, so when I hit the glass with my hand, she jumped. The noise was louder than I'd meant for it to be, but it certainly added to the charade I'd been ordered to play.

"What are you doing here, Bella?" I growled, hating myself - and Sam.

She stared at me, her mouth falling open as she took in my new appearance. My hair was now short and I'd bulked up quite a bit in the last few weeks. Both of which were a consequence of my curse.

"Jacob?" she finally whispered, checking to make sure it was still me.

I stared into her beautiful eyes. I wanted to simply get lost in them and had to be careful to keep my true feelings hidden from her.

I heard my brothers emerge out of the trees and Bella's eyes scrutinized the four guys who looked frighteningly like me. Her face registered the whole gamut of emotions as she stared at them.

"What do you want?" I hissed, keeping up the angry façade.

"I want to talk to you," her timid voice replied.

My heart skipped a beat at her request. I focused on my breathing to make sure my tone would remain gruff. "Go ahead," I snarled, grinding my teeth. I felt my heart melting as her face contorted with hurt. I couldn't be soft. I narrowed my eyes, glaring at her.

"Alone!" she hissed.

I turned to look at Sam, as did all three of my brothers. He nodded once and muttered, "Tasi!" Five in Quileute. The group disappeared one at time through the door, into my house.

"Okay." I let myself relax just a little with their departure. Now alone with Bella, I felt more despair than I ever had.

She took a deep breath. "You know what I want to know."

I did know what she wanted to know. Unfortunately, I couldn't give her the answers to her questions. I stared at her, angry and bitter. Neither emotion directed _at _her. My heart was breaking as she remained silent, staring back at me.

She gulped and blinked, "Can we walk?"

I said nothing, keeping my face painfully composed, hoping that I wasn't revealing too much.

She climbed out of her truck, shot a quick glance at the house and then started walking toward the trees. Her feet made a squishing noise as she moved along. I followed just behind her, eerily quiet. She even turned around to make sure I was still there.

We were silent as we entered the cover of the trees. I was relieved to be out of Sam's line of sight. She seemed to have relaxed a little as well. I widened my stride, moving ahead of her, deeper into the forest. I whipped around to face her, blocking the path so she would have to stop as well.

"Let's get this over with," my voice was huskier than I wanted, giving a clue as to my real feelings.

She waited.

"It's not what you think," my voice was weary. "It's not what I thought - I was way off."

"So what is it, then?"

I studied her face, contemplating exactly how much trouble I would be in if I just told her everything. I wanted to. I needed to. But… "I can't tell you."

The muscles in her jaw tightened as she spoke through her teeth, "I thought we were friends."

Her accusation was painful and I retaliated, "We were."

"But you don't need friends anymore," she whispered bitterly. "You have Sam. Isn't that nice - you've always looked up to him so much."

Each word cut to my very core. Her pain hurt me more than my own. "I didn't understand him before," I told her honestly.

"And now you've seen the light. Hallelujah."

"It wasn't like I thought it was. This isn't Sam's fault. He's helping me as much as he can." It was nice to be able to speak something that resembled the truth. I glanced up over the top of Bella's head, making sure we were still alone.

"He's helping you," she repeated, mocking me. "Naturally."

Her pain and anger were beginning to effect me, deeply. I stared at her beautiful face, concentrating only on her. I took deep breaths, focusing on staying in control. I shoved my shaking hands into my pockets in an attempt to stop them.

"Jacob, please," she whispered gently. "Won't you tell me what happened? Maybe I can help."

"No one can help me now," I murmured, my voice cracking and I hoped Bella had missed it.

Tears started to form in her eyes as she demanded, "What did he do to you?" She reached out to me, holding her arms open wide, she stepped toward me.

Anguish ripped at my soul. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and let her try to repair all the hurt I was feeling, but instead I stepped away, cringing. "Don't touch me." I held up my hand defensively.

"Is Sam catching?" she mumbled. The tears that had been in the corner of her eyes were now flowing down her cheeks. She wiped at them with the back of her hand, and then folder her arms across her chest.

"Don't blame Sam," I defended. The words came rushing out.

"Then who should I blame?" she demanded.

I wanted to laugh at her question. Did she really not know who was to blame for all of this? A bitter smile tugged at my lips, but I quickly hid it. "You don't want to hear that," I assured her. She couldn't even think about _him _without having to wrap her arms around her chest to hold all the pieces, he'd left behind, in tact.

"The hell I don't! I want to know, and I want to know _now_," she snapped.

"You're wrong," my tone matched hers.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong - I'm not the one who got brainwashed! Tell me now whose fault this all is, if it's not your precious Sam!"

Her yelling set me off. I had to release my anger somehow, so I yelled, instead of phasing. "You asked for it," I growled, glaring at her. "If you want to blame someone, why don't you point your finger at those filthy, _reeking _bloodsuckers that you love so much?"

All the oxygen whooshed out of her body as her mouth fell open. She stood frozen, staring at me in disbelief. I immediately felt guilty for my outburst, but couldn't let her see my regret, so I hardened my stare. I hated the bloodsuckers and the part they played in things, but taking it out on Bella was inexcusable.

"I told you that you didn't want to hear it," I said.

"I don't understand who you mean," she lied.

I raised an eyebrow, showing her that I knew she was lying. "I think you understand exactly who I mean. You're not going to make me say it, are you?" I sneered. "I don't like hurting you."

I hated that I was hurting her. The last time I saw her, I promised to be there for her. And now, I was breaking every promise I'd ever made.

"I don't understand who you mean," she repeated.

I despised myself for what I was going to say. "The _Cullens_," I said their name slowly, watching her carefully for the reaction I knew was coming. She flinched. "I saw that - I can see in your eyes what it does to you when I say their name."

She shook her head back and forth as if to convince herself I hadn't just implicated her perfect boyfriend and his family. Her face contorted in pain and her arms wrapped more securely around her middle.

I wanted to comfort her pain away, apologize for being a jerk and for saying such horrible things; but I remained still, staring at her.

"Don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitious nonsense now," she muttered in a voice too weak to sound like the mockery she was attempting.

"He knows more than I gave him credit for."

"Be serious, Jake."

I glared at her, again, wishing I could just tell her what I knew about her beloved vampire and what I would like to do to him.

"Superstitions aside," she retorted. "I still don't see what you're accusing the…Cullens of." She winced as their name flowed out of her mouth. "They left more than half a year ago. How can you blame them for what Sam is doing now?"

"Sam isn't _doing _anything, Bella. And I know they're gone. But sometimes…things are set in motion, and then it's too late." _Much too late._

"What's set in motion? What's too late? What are you blaming them for?"

I suddenly felt more like she was defending them, instead of trying to figure out what going on with me. My hands started shaking again, and before I knew it, I was nose to nose with her, my body heated with the anger consuming me. "For existing," I hissed in her face.

She said nothing. Fear flashed in her eyes, and again, I detested the person I was now. My arms were now quivering, wanting to phase. I balled my fists, trying to regain some of the control I was quickly losing.

"You're being ridiculous," she told me.

"Fine," I breathed deeply. "I won't argue it with you. It doesn't matter anyway, the damage is done."

"_What damage_?" she shouted in my face, fury in her voice and eyes.

I needed to end this now, before it ended badly. "Let's head back. There's nothing more to say."

Her mouth again dropped open, "There's everything more to say! You haven't said anything yet!"

I pushed past her, walking toward the house.

"I ran into Quil today," she yelled, causing me to pause for just a moment. "You remember your friend, Quil? Yeah, he's terrified."

I whirled around, preparing to unload on her. Instead, pain coursed through my veins at the thought of my best friend. "Quil," I groaned.

"He's worried about you, too. He's freaked out."

I searched the forest for anything to look at besides her beautiful, worried face.

"He's frightened that he's next."

I grabbed at a tree, leaning against it for something to support my pain. I felt sick. That was the last thing I wanted for him. "He won't be next," I grumbled, hoping. "He can't be. It's over now. This shouldn't still be happening. Why? Why?" I slammed my fist into a tree, releasing a portion of the frustration and aching that I was feeling. It snapped with a loud crack, falling to the ground.

Bella's eyes flew open wide as she looked from me to the tree and back again. I looked at the splinters, horrified. I couldn't believe I had let myself get so out of control. For the first time, I realized that there was a possibility of my hurting Bella without meaning to.

"I have to get back." I turned, heading back toward the clearing where my house was.

She was running behind me, trying to keep up with me. "Back to Sam!" she screamed in a desperate tone.

"That's one way of looking at it," I mumbled, closing my eyes again, cursing my damn situation.

I walked toward the house and her voice pierced the silence, "Wait!"

My heart was beating like crazy while my breath was uneasy and my hands were shaking again, threatening to overtake me. I couldn't do this anymore. No matter how much it hurt, I had to put an end to this. "Go home, Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore." The words were excruciating to put a voice to. _Sam would be proud_, my thoughts hissed. My stomach flipped and threatened to expose my lunch.

Her eyes started to get that glassy look again and my heart broke. I loathed everything that was making me do this to her - Sam, the Cullens, even Old Quil. If only, I could tell her the truth instead of destroying her.

"Are you…breaking up with me?

I couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped my body at her question. "Hardly. If that were the case, I'd say 'Let's stay friends.' I can't even say that." _Damn you, Sam!_

"Jacob…why?" she pleaded, her voice weak, the tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. "Sam won't let you have other friends? Please, Jake. You promised. I need you!" Her voice was cracking as she pled her case.

I needed her too; more than she knew. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I was so very sorry. I wished she could read my mind to know what I couldn't tell her out loud. If I knew that Bella understood my predicament and still cared for me, maybe, just maybe, it would be tolerable.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't…before…I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob." Her words rushed out, grasping at the only straw she could. "Maybe…maybe I would change," she whispered. "Maybe, if you gave me some time…just don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

Her heart and voice were breaking with each word. I had no choice, my face melted into the anguish I was feeling. I reached out to her and noticed my hand was still shaking. I had to be careful.

"No. Don't think like that, Bella, please. Don't blame yourself, don't think this is your fault. This one is _all_ me. I swear, it's not about you."

"It's not you, it's me," she groaned. "There's a new one."

"I mean it, Bella. I'm not…" my voice was rough with the emotions I was fighting to keep in check. Agony was consuming every cell in my body. "I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore, or anything else. I'm not what I was before. I'm not good." I told her as much of the truth as I could, hoping she would somehow get the message and leave before I crumbled right before her eyes.

"What?" Confusion crossed her face. "What are you _saying_? You're much better than I am, Jake. You are good! Who told you that you aren't? Sam?" Her voice was full of malice as she began yelling, "It's a vicious lie, Jacob! Don't let him tell you that!"

She didn't get it. I felt my face twist in frustration. "No one had to tell me anything. I know what I am."

"You're my friend, that's what you are! Jake - don't!" she screamed as I started backing further away from her.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I mumbled with my voice cracking pathetically. Tears were threatening my own eyes, and she would never give up if I were to break down in front of her. I took one last look at her beautiful face, memorizing every feature and turned, running into the house.

My brothers were silent and pretended to be oblivious to the fact that I'd just come through the door with tears rolling down my cheeks. I pushed past them and went to the refuge of my room.

I listened intently, waiting for the roar of her truck, signaling that she was finally gone. It seemed to take forever before she gave up and the rumbling started and eventually disappeared.

The next few hours dragged on into eternity. Breaking Bella's heart had been the most painful thing I'd ever done. It was horrible. Excruciating. Agonizing. Heartbreaking.

The phone rang and I fought the urge to see who it was, but lost. I rounded the corner as my dad picked up the receiver. "Hello?" he paused for only a moment. "Hi, Charlie. Did Bella get home safely?"

"Yes, thanks. But that's not why I'm calling," Charlie responded in a cold tone. Thanks to wolf hearing, I could make out every word coming through the phone.

"Oh?"

"What the hell is going on with your son?"

"Nothing. Jake's fine," my dad was getting really good at this particular lie. I wasn't at all fine, turning into a giant dog whenever I got angry was _not _fine. "He's just decided to spend time with some of his other friends."

"I'm not buying that. It doesn't make any sense."

My father's eyes darted over almost as if to warn me of what was going to come out of his mouth next, "Of course it makes sense, Charlie. Jake is tired of getting his heart broken. She doesn't return his feelings and…"

"Don't you put this on Bella!" Charlie shouted which was so out of character for him. I was taken back. "Bella's made it very clear all along that she and Jacob were just friends…."

"Be that as it may, he needs a break from her."

"Well, if that was it, then why didn't you say so at first?"

"And her accusing Jake's friends of…"

"No, Billy, I think she's right about this…."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know my daughter, and if she says Jacob was scared before -"

"You don't know you daughter as well as you think," Dad pushed the lines of their friendship.

"What do you mean I don't know my daughter as well as I think I do!" His reply contained as much venom as Bella's had earlier when she was yelling at me.

"You should ask her about the Cullens. They were not what they appeared to be, Charlie."

"If you think I'm going to remind her about that, then you had better think again," his voice was deadly quiet, resembling that of Chief Swan instead of Charlie. "She's only just starting to get over it, and mostly because of Jacob, I think."

He was crediting me with her recovery? I smiled for only a moment before he made his threat, "If whatever Jacob has going on with this Sam character sends her back into that depression, then Jacob is going to have to answer to me."

I gulped. What if she drifted into the pitiful existence she was living when _he_ left her? Because of me? I couldn't allow that to happen.

"You're my friend, Billy, but this is hurting my family."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I can assure you that I will make sure Jake and his friends stay out of trouble."

"You got that right - those boys set one toe out of line and I'm going to know about it. We'll be keeping an eye on the situation, you can be sure of that."

"We only want the best for Bella. Maybe this is for the best."

"Fine."

"I hope it won't affect our friendship."

"Yeah."

"Goodbye, Charlie."

"Goodbye," Charlie growled, followed by the slamming of the phone back into the cradle.

"Well, that was pleasant," Dad chuckled sarcastically.

"Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault, Jake. There was no other option. Don't be too hard on yourself."

"Sure, sure. Thanks, Dad." I escaped into the night. I refused to phase, needing to be alone with my thoughts.

I couldn't leave things the way they were with Bella. She needed to know that I was sorry for the way things went down earlier. I decided then that I would go apologize and face whatever consequences followed. Nothing mattered if Bella was miserable.

The sun was just beginning to set and I knew I would have to wait until it was dark to go see her. As upset as Charlie seemed when he called, I couldn't just show up on his doorstep.

I began running on my two feet, waiting for the time to be perfect.


	9. Midnight Visit

Chapter Nine - Midnight Visit

I sat on my haunches, waiting for the lights to go out in the house. Bella's bedroom had gone dark hours ago, but I couldn't risk running into Charlie. My stomach was in knots, hoping that Bella would agree to speak with me. I'd hurt her so much this afternoon.

Finally, the house went black. I climbed the tree outside her window and leaned over so that the branches scraped eerily against her window. The tree was swaying and I held on awkwardly, hoping I didn't end up on my head in the dirt.

A thin figure came toward the window only to back away quickly.

"Bella!" I hissed in a whisper. The tree began to bow, threatening to snap under my weight. "Ouch! Damn it, open the window! OUCH!" I yelled as the branches were shredding my skin.

Her silhouette stood frozen on the other side of the glass for a few moments before she finally, threw the window open. "What are you _doing_?" she gasped.

"I'm trying to keep" - I huffed, trying to steady myself for the jump into Bella's window - "my promise."

She was blinking frantically against the tears that were threatening.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?"

I snorted. She had no idea of how agile I'd become in the weeks since we'd been apart. "Get out of the way," I groaned.

"What?"

I swung my legs back and forth, gaining the momentum I needed.

"No, Jake!" she was panicking.

I kicked and my body flew through the window, clearing it and landing on the floor with a light thud. Bella's head matched mine as they snapped over to look at the door, making sure Charlie hadn't heard. When his snores continued, we both sighed in unison.

Bella looked bad - and beautiful. Her face was splotchy and her eyes were puffy, as though, she'd been crying - a lot. _Over me? _Did I dare hope?

"Get out!" she growled, the words dripping with venom.

My only reaction was blinking, surprised, until I found my voice. "No. I came to apologize."

"I don't _accept_!"

She placed her small, cold hands on my chest and pushed against me. As hard as she was trying, I didn't move. The night was cold, but I wasn't wearing a shirt. I didn't need one. Her touch was like electricity flowing through my core. She dropped her hands and backed away, staring at me.

Her body started to sway back and forth as her eyes were no longer focused.

"Bella?" I asked, grabbing her elbow and leading her toward the bed so she could sit down. "Hey, are you okay?"

She looked up at me, tears continuing to flow down her cheeks. "Why in the world would I be okay, Jacob?"

The angry mask I'd tried to keep plastered on my face, melted at her words. I had broken her just like that damn leech. "Right," I agreed. She had me there. "Crap. Well…I - I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Why did you come here? I don't want apologies from you, Jake."

"I know," I conceded. "But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon. That was horrible. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I don't understand anything."

"I know. I want to explain -" I stopped, remembering Sam's order, _you can't tell her anything. _I filled my lungs with air and thought for a moment. How can I word it so that I'm not 'telling' her? "But I can't explain," I could hear the bitterness in my response. "I wish I could."

Her head fell into her hands. "Why?" came her muffled question.

_Because I'm a freakin' oversized dog that kills the very thing that destroyed you in the first place! _I knew that I couldn't tell her that. My muscles tightened. My jaw clenched, holding my breath. What were the right words to lead her to the truth?

"What's wrong?" she finally asked when I didn't respond.

All the air in my lungs came out in a loud whoosh. "I can't do it," I groaned. _Damn Sam, and his stupid rules!_

"Do what?"

The wheels started spinning in my head and I decided to just go with it. "Look, Bella, haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?" I concentrated on her face - her eyes - for the confirmation that she understood what I was asking her. When I saw it, I continued, "Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie, from your mom…?" I paused. "Something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now?"

Her eyes tightened and I waited for her arms to wrap around her middle, so she wouldn't fall apart at the thought of the stupid leeches. I was surprised when they didn't.

"Can you understand that I might have the same kind of…" I struggled, searching for the word that wouldn't give too much away. "situation? Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it's not your secret to tell."

She knew now that I knew the secret she was not willing to share. The one concerning the parasite who broke her heart.

"I don't know why you came here, Jacob, if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I was doing the best I could. "This is so frustrating."

We kept staring at each other, her eyes were searching mine for the answers I couldn't give her. I wanted to tell her everything so badly. Then it dawned on me and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before! _She already knows everything! _I felt hopeless, angry, frustrated - and hurt.

"The part that kills me," I said, breaking the silence, "is that you already _know_. I already _told _you everything!"

"What are you talking about?"

I inhaled sharply, staring at her face intently. My nose was as close as it could get to hers without actually touching. "I think I see a way to make this work out - because you know this, Bella! I can't tell you, but if you _guessed _it! That would let me right off the hook!"

"You want me to guess? Guess _what_?"

"_My _secret! You can do it - you know the answer!"

Her eyebrows furrowed while her eyes blinked at me. She wasn't getting it! _What if she never got it? _I shook my head refusing to let myself consider that. She had to, she was a smart girl and I had to have faith that she would figure it out.

"Hold on, let me see if I can give you some help," I suggested, gulping for the breath my anxiety was taking.

"Help?" she asked, her eyes threatening to close with sleep.

"Yeah," my breathing was heavy and I sounded more like an obscene phone caller than a guy trying to explain his situation. "Like clues." I placed a hand on each cheek and forced her to look deep into my eyes. "Remember the day we first met - on the beach in La Push?"

"Of course I do."

"Tell me about it."

She took a deep breath and started, "You asked about my truck…"

I nodded, urging her to continue. This had to work!

"We talked about the Rabbit…."

"Keep going."

"We went for a walk down the beach…."

Her cheeks were beginning to heat up under my palms and being so close to her, I had to focus on my mission. I wanted to kiss her so badly. But if there were to ever be any chance of that, I had to get her to remember.

"You told me scary stories…Quileute legends."

She was getting it. I closed my eyes, keeping my excitement in check. I opened them slowly. "Yes," I said, letting her know she was on the right track. The next question came out slowly, "Do you remember what I said?"

Her face drained of its color as her mind returned to the day I told her about her beloved Edward and his attraction to her blood.

"Think hard," I encouraged her.

"Yes, I remember," she breathed.

I inhaled deeply, struggling for the right wording for my next question. "Do you remember _all _the stor-…"

_You can't tell her anything! _Sam's former instructions again screamed in my mind.

"All the stories?" she asked.

I nodded, trying to get Sam out of my head.

She sat there in silence, her mind spinning behind her eyes.

I couldn't take it anymore. I let out a groan, jumped off the bed and started pacing. "You know this, you know this," I muttered.

"Jake? Jake, please, I'm _exhausted. _I'm no good at this right now. Maybe in the morning…"

_No! This can't wait! _I _can't wait! _I took a deep breath, reminding myself I couldn't push her on this. "Maybe it will come back to you. I guess I understand why you only remember the one story," I added sarcastically. I plopped down on the bed next to her. "Do you mind if I ask you a question about that?" I didn't even try to hide the sarcasm. "I've been dying to know."

"A question about what?"

"About the vampire story I told you."

Her eyes were guarded and her mouth was unable to respond to me.

"Did you honestly not know?" I snarled, my voice full of the emotions coursing through my veins. "Was I the one who told you what he was?"

Her face was revealing more than she intended. Her teeth clenched closed, unwilling to verify what I'd told her I already knew. She stared at me.

"See what I mean about loyalty?" my voice husky. "It's the same for me, only worse. You can't imagine how tight I'm bound…." My eyes drifted closed in agony as I contemplated how tightly I was bound to this horrible secret.

"Isn't there any way for you to get free?" her sweet, soft voice asked. Her hand brushed at the back of my now short hair.

My hands started trembling at her touch. I needed her so much. I didn't dare open my eyes for fear I might lose all composure; nor did I dare reach out to her with my shaking hands. "No, I'm in this for life. A life sentence." I coughed out a pathetic laugh. "Longer, maybe."

"No, Jake," she moaned. "What if we ran away? Just you and me. What if we left home, and left Sam behind?"

As much as I liked the idea of running away from my life with Bella, that wasn't an option. "It's not something I can run away from, Bella," I whispered. "I would run away with you, though, if I could." The shaking had now spread to my shoulders. "Look, I've got to leave."

"Why?"

"For one thing, you look like you're going to pass out at any second. You need your sleep - I need you firing on all pistons. You're going to figure this out, you have to."

"And why else?"

"I had to sneak out - I'm not supposed to see you. They've got to be wondering where I am." My brothers were going to lose it when they found out where I'd been and who I'd been talking to. "I suppose I should go let them know."

"You don't have to tell them anything," she hissed, angry.

"All the same, I will," I told her, knowing that the second I was a wolf, they would all know everything we'd discussed.

"I _hate _them!" she yelled.

I was surprised by her outburst. Bella's sweet heart didn't have the capacity to hate. "No, Bella. Don't hate the guys. It's not Sam's or any of the others' faults. I told you before - it's me. Sam is actually… well, incredibly cool." She opened her mouth as though she were going to voice a retort, but I continued before she could say anything. "Jared and Paul are great, too, though Paul is kind of…" I let the thought trail off. "And Embry's always been my friend. Nothing's changed there - the _only _thing that hasn't changed." I groaned. "I feel really bad about the things I used to think about Sam…."

"Then why aren't you supposed to see me?" she demanded, putting her hand on her petite hip.

"It's not safe," I mumbled, refusing to look in her eyes. "If I thought it was too…too risky," I whispered, "I wouldn't have come. But Bella," I let my eyes find hers, "I made you a promise. I had no idea it would be so hard to keep, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try."

She stared at me as though she didn't understand what I was referring to. That hurt.

"After that stupid movie," I reminded her. "I promised you that I wouldn't ever hurt you…. So I really blew it this afternoon, didn't I?"

"I know you didn't want to do it, Jake." She knew me too well. "It's okay."

"Thanks, Bella." I'd managed to calm myself, so I took her hand. "I'm going to do what I can to be here for you, just like I promised. It would really help if you could figure this out on your own, Bella." I smiled encouragingly. "Put some honest effort into it."

"I'll try."

"And I'll try to see you soon." I sighed, knowing what my brothers' reaction would be. "And they'll try to talk me out of that." I just hoped they wouldn't forbid it.

"Don't listen to them," she snarled, the anger reappearing.

"I'll try." I shook my head, knowing I didn't stand a chance of not listening to their constant griping about my seeing her. "Come and tell me as soon as you figure it out." The next thought that flashed through my mind caused every cell in my body to threaten a change. _What if she couldn't accept what I was? What if she hated me? _"If you…if you _want _to," I added painfully.

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?"

I composed my face into the mask that would protect Bella from the onslaught of emotions that were threatening to consume me. "Oh, I can think of a reason," the words sounded more harsh than I meant. "Look, I really have to go. Could you do something for me?"

She just nodded.

"At least call me - if you don't want to see me again." It hurt to even think of the idea. "Let me know if it's like that."

"That won't happen -"

I raised a hand, stopping her from making a promise she might not be able to keep. "Just let me know."

"Don't be an idiot, Jake," she complained as I stood at the open window. "You'll break your leg. Use the door. Charlie's not going to catch you."

"I won't get hurt," I muttered, but turned toward the door anyway, just to please her. My eyes were locked on hers as I walked passed her. I stopped and held out a hand toward her.

She placed her small hand in my much larger one. In one swift movement, I pulled her off of the bed into my chest. "Just in case," I muttered against her hair, inhaling her scent. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Can't - breathe!" she gasped.

I released her, realizing I had almost crushed her. I kept one hand on her waist to steady her. Then I pushed lightly on her shoulders. She plopped back down on the bed.

"Get some sleep, Bells. You've got to get your head working. I know you can do this. I _need _you to understand. I won't lose you, Bells. Not for this." With my final plea, I turned toward the door and was out in the hall before she could say anything else.

I exited the house and went directly to the tree line. I stood for a moment, calming my thoughts before I phased. I knew hell was coming.

Sure enough, as soon as Sam heard my conversation, he lost it. _What the hell were you thinking? I told you that you couldn't see her._

_I know, but I broke that today when she showed up at the house. So I thought…_

_You didn't think! What if something would have happened? What if you hurt her? What if you'd lost control? What if you'd slipped?_

_Geez, Sam! Stop the what if's! Nothing happened. Bella is still in one piece and I didn't tell her anything._

_Whatever, Jake! _Jared groaned.

_Why don't you go home and get some sleep, _Sam muttered.

_But I'm supposed to patrol tonight._

_You need to think about your priorities, Jake. The tribe. The pack. _A growl escaped from deep in his chest. _Call me in the morning._

_Fine, _I snarled. If they didn't want my help tonight, I could accept that. I would spend the hours alone with my thoughts. Hoping she wouldn't hate me when she figured out the monster I had become.

I got home and all the lights were out. I quietly made my way to my bedroom, not wanting to wake my dad. He wouldn't be happy about my activities tonight any more than Sam had been.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind whirling. She'd been so angry at the thought of Sam consuming so much of my time. She cried at the pain I was feeling. I watched as her heart broke again at the mention of the Cullens' secret.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to leave her room. I hoped it wouldn't take her too long to understand. Fear was the dominant emotion now. It was only a matter of time before she figured out what had happened to me.

_Only a matter of time before she knew I was a monster_, was my last thought as I drifted into my dreams.


	10. The Truth

Chapter Ten - The Truth

My heart was beating frantically in my chest as I watched Bella's reaction. I reached out to her and she shied away in fear. "Don't touch me!" she yelled, backing away. "You're a monster!"

"But Bells…"

"Don't Bells me…"

"I would never hurt you."

"I'm not going to give you the chance." She turned on her heel and started running away from me.

I ran to catch up with her. My hand flashed out to grab her arm.

"Let go of me, Jake."

"Jake. Jacob!" With each muttering of my name, Bella's voice lowered until finally it was my father's. "Jake, you need to wake up. Jake!" he called from the doorway.

"Huh?" I groaned, fighting against the sleep and nightmare still haunting me.

"Jake, it's Bella."

As soon as he mentioned her name, I jerked upright. "What about Bella? Is she okay?"

"Yes. At least…I think so. She's waiting for you."

"What? Why didn't you wake me?"

"I am," he reminded me. "Get up. She knows your secret."

"She knows?" _And she still came to see me. _I wrestled with the sheet that was tangled around my legs, rolling into the floor. I hopped up and raked my fingers through my hair. "Where is she?"

"At the beach."

"How did she seem?"

"Angry," his response took all the wind out of my sails.

"Oh."

"What happened? How does she…"

"Not now, Dad."

I wanted to run to her, but I couldn't get my feet to move faster than a slow walk, needing to avoid the hurt that might be coming. Her truck came into view and my heart accelerated as my breathing slowed. I forced a deep breath and began my search for her.

She was in the first place I looked; sitting in the same spot where I'd told her too much over a year ago. She had her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her coat and was shivering. I didn't even have a shirt on and was perfectly content with the temperature. Yet another reminder.

I watched her for just another moment, taking in how beautiful she was. I hoped this wasn't the end.

"Hi, Bella."

She turned around and stared at me. With each passing second of silence, I grew more nervous. Finally she spoke, "Jake?"

I kept my distance, fidgeting like a child. "Billy told me you came by - didn't take you long did it? I knew you could figure it out."

"Yeah, I remember the right story now," she whispered.

Neither of us said anything, standing and staring in silence. I'm not quite sure why, but her silence irritated me. She said she remembered, but made no further comment on it. _Was she angry? Did she hate me? What was going through her head? _"You could have just called," my frustration came out in my tone.

"I know," she nodded.

I started pacing back and forth. So much was riding on her new found knowledge and my heart felt like it was going to explode with anticipation. "Why did you come?"

"I thought it would be better face-to-face." Her face was full of emotions I couldn't place.

"Oh, much better," I groaned.

"Jacob, I have to warn you -"

"About the rangers and the hunters? _Don't_ worry about it. We already know." At least she cared whether I was dead or not. But her reaction still wasn't what I'd hoped for. I continued to pace, thinking it might relieve some of the tension that was building in my body.

"Don't worry about it?" her voice was a high pitched shriek. "Jake, they've got guns! They're setting traps and offering rewards and -"

"We can take care of ourselves," I informed her. "They're not going to catch anything. They're only making it difficult - they'll start disappearing soon enough, too."

"Jake!"

"What?" I didn't understand her reaction. "It's just a fact."

Her voice dropped and her face contorted. "How can you… feel that way? You know these people. Charlie's out there!"

She was on the verge of hysterics and I stopped my pacing, turning to face her. "What more can we do?" I asked.

"Could you…well, try to _not _be a…werewolf?"

_How dare she… _I threw my hands up in frustration. "Like I had a choice about it!" I yelled, releasing some of my pent up emotion. Then a thought occurred to me… "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about people disappearing?"

"I don't understand you," she whispered, studying my face.

I narrowed my eyes into a glare. "You know what makes me so mad I could just spit?" I snarled.

She flinched and I knew I'd hit my mark. I waited for her to answer and finally she nodded.

"You're such a hypocrite, Bella - there you sit, _terrified _of me! How is that fair?" My brain was spinning. My heart was pounding. And my hands were starting to shake.

"_Hypocrite? _How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?"

"Ugh!" I groaned, feeling much like I'd been sucker-punched. She called me a monster. I could feel the beginnings of losing it. I closed my eyes and pressed my shaking hands to my temples and began rubbing, thinking of happier times with Bella. "Would you listen to yourself?"

"What?" she asked, really not understanding.

Without thinking, my feet carried me closer to her. I leaned over her tiny figure until I was right in her face. "Well, I'm so sorry that I can't be the _right_ kind of monster for you, Bella," I fumed. "I guess I'm just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?"

She scrambled to her feet, trying to match my fury with her own. "No, you're not!" she shouted, wounding me. "It's not what you _are_, stupid, it's what you _do_!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I roared, my whole body giving in to the shaking now. I knew I needed to control my anger, but couldn't find the peace to do it. Bella's face was usually what I used to help relax. Right now, though, seeing her face contorted in anger, wasn't going to help me calm down.

My whole body was reacting to her rejection. Besides my anger, I was hurt. Really hurt. Betrayed. How could she accept _him_ and the fact that he craved her blood; but couldn't accept what I'd become - because of what he was?

Her soft voice interrupted my thoughts, "Jacob." She said my name, pleading. "Is it really necessary to _kill_ people, Jacob? Isn't there some other way? I mean, if vampires can find a way to survive without murdering people, couldn't you give it a try, too?"

_Huh? _Another sucker-punch. My eyes widened and my heart jumped. Relief washed over my body as comprehension began to dawn on me and the shaking subsided. "Killing people?"

"What did you think we were talking about?"

"_I _thought we were talking about your disgust for werewolves." _Did I dare hope that she could accept what I was?_

"No, Jake, no. It's not that you're a…wolf. That's fine, if you could just find a way not to hurt people…that's all that upsets me. These are innocent people, Jake, people like Charlie, and I can't just look the other way while you -"

"Is that all? Really?" I couldn't contain the relief and happiness that were consuming me. My face felt as though it were going to crack, my smile was so big. "You're just scared because I'm a murderer? That's the only reason?" _Oh, how I love her._

"Isn't that reason enough?" she asked, panicked.

A laugh ripped from my chest and she stared at me in disbelief.

"Jacob Black, this is _so_ not funny!"

"Sure, sure," I agreed, placing my hand over my mouth to stifle another chuckle. I closed the gap between us and pulled her into my arms, hugging her. I needed to feel her; to smell her scent. I'd missed her so much. "You really, honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?" I asked for clarification. My heart beating so hard in my chest, I thought it might just explode.

"No," she gasped. "Can't - breathe - Jake!"

I released my hold on her body, but took her hands in mine. "I'm not a killer, Bella."

Her eyes studied my face, and I watched as her body relaxed, all the former tension disappearing. "Really?"

"Really."

She pulled her hands out of mine and for a split second, I panicked; until she threw her arms around my waist, crushing her body to mine. I returned her embrace, feeling complete for the first time in a long time. I stroked her hair and inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the sweet smell of strawberries.

"Sorry I called you a hypocrite," I muttered into her hair.

"Sorry I called you a murderer."

Her apology made me laugh.

"What about Sam? And the others?"

Poor, confused Bella. I shook my head. "Of course not. Don't you remember what we call ourselves?"

"Protectors," she said without even thinking.

"Exactly."

"But I don't understand. What's happening in the woods? The missing hikers, the blood?" her voice getting higher with each question.

I shared her anxiety. "We're trying to do our job, Bella. We're trying to protect them, but we're always just a little too late."

"Protect them from what?" her brows narrowed. "Is there really a bear out there, too?"

_Was she really that naïve? _"Bella, honey, we only protect people from one thing - our one enemy. It's the reason we exist - because they do."

She stared at me, confusion still on her face. Then in an instant, recognition flashed in her eyes. All the color drained from her face and she took on a green hue. She let out a tiny yelp, suddenly terrified.

I nodded. "I thought you, of all people, would realize what was really going on."

"Laurent," she squeaked. "He's still here."

I didn't understand who she was talking about. I tipped my head to the side, "Who's Laurent?"

Her brain was spinning, trying to wrap itself around all the information she had just received. "You know - you saw him in the meadow. You were there…." She trailed off, her statement soaking in. "You were there, and you kept him from killing me…."

"Oh, the black-haired leech?" I smiled, remembering the thrill of ripping him to shreds. "Was that his name?"

"What were you thinking?" she shuddered. "He could have killed you! Jake, you don't realize how dangerous -"

Her concern made me smile, but her worrying made me laugh. "Bella, one lone vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack as big as ours. It was so easy, it was hardly even fun!"

"What was so easy?"

"Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you," I said with a grin. "Now, I don't count that towards the whole murder thing. Vampires don't count as people."

"You…killed…Laurent?" she breathed.

I wasn't sure what her reaction meant. "You're not upset about that, are you? He was going to kill you - he was going for the kill, Bella, we were sure of that before we attacked. You know that, right?"

"I know that. No, I'm not upset - I'm…" Her color drained again and she swayed back and forth. She stepped backward and sank down on a piece of driftwood. "Laurent is dead. He's not coming back for me." It sounded as though she were speaking only to herself.

"You're not mad? He wasn't one of your friends or anything, was he?" I wanted to make sure I understood her relationship to the dead leech and why she was reacting so strange.

"My friend?" Her eyes started to look glassy and she started babbling, "No, Jake. I'm so…so _relieved_. I thought he was going to find me - I've been waiting for him every night, just hoping that he'd stop with me and leave Charlie alone. I've been so frightened, Jacob…. But how? He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong, so hard, like marble…."

I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders, holding her close. "It's what we're made for, Bells. We're strong, too. I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid. You didn't need to be."

"You weren't around."

Her words cut to my core. She'd been scared senseless since that day in the meadow; worrying every night that her nightmares would come true. _Damn the restrictions. If only I would have gone to her earlier. _"Oh, right."

"Wait, Jake - I thought you knew, though. Last night, you said it wasn't safe for you to be in my room. I thought you knew that a vampire might be coming. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

It took a moment for understanding to hit me and I dropped my head, embarrassed. "No, that's not what I meant."

"Then why didn't you think it was safe for you there?" she asked, her big brown eyes studying my face.

"I didn't say it wasn't safe for _me_. I was thinking of you," suddenly guilt-ridden for my stupidity.

"What do you mean?"

I avoided her eyes and kicked at a rock. "There's more than one reason I'm not supposed to be around you, Bella. I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret, for one thing, but the other part is that it's not safe for _you_. If I get too mad…too upset…you might get hurt." My thoughts jumped to Sam's warning, and then my mind replayed how his claw disfigured the woman he loved and I cringed.

"When you were mad before…when I was yelling at you…and you were shaking…?"

"Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. I have to keep a better hold on myself. I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But…I just got so upset that I was going to lose you…that you couldn't deal with what I am…." Even knowing the outcome, the thoughts were almost more than I could bear.

"What would happen…if you got too mad?"

"I'd turn into a wolf."

"You don't need a full moon?"

I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh, "Hollywood's version doesn't get much right." I sighed, returning to more serious matters. "You don't need to be so stressed out, Bells. We're going to take care of this. And we're keeping a special eye on Charlie and the others - we won't let anything happen to him. Trust me on that."

Panic flashed in her eyes as her skin turned an unhealthy gray. "Laurent is dead," she gasped.

"Bella?" I reached out and brushed my hand against her cheek. The constant drain of blood from her face couldn't be good. I'd been worried about Bella before, but now that I knew just how scared she was, I felt horrible guilt.

"If Laurent died…a week ago…then someone else is killing people _now_."

"There were two of them," I snarled through clenched teeth. "We thought his mate would want to fight us - in our stories, they usually get pretty pissed off if you kill their mate - but she just keeps running away, and then coming back again. If we could figure out what she was after, it would be easier to take her down. But she makes no sense. She keeps dancing around the edges, like she's testing our defenses, looking for a way in - but _in_ where? Where does she want to go? Sam thinks she's trying to separate us, so she'll have a better chance…."

The more I talked, the worse Bella looked. What little color had returned, was now gone. Sweat was beading on her forehead and her eyes were glossing over again. She turned away from me and leaned over the side of the tree trunk. Her body heaved, sending all the contents of her stomach onto the ground.

I placed my hand on her shoulder, leaning down next to her cheek. "Bella! What's wrong?" I'd never seen her like this and it scared me.

"Victoria," she gasped between her breaths.

_Who? _I pulled her limp body from off of the stump and into my lap, her head rested against my shoulder. It was a challenge to keep her lifeless form upright. I'd never seen anyone so scared. She was really freaking me out.

"Who?" I brushed at the sweat-drenched locks falling in her face. "Can you hear me, Bella? Bella?"

"She wasn't Laurent's mate," she croaked. "They were just old friends."

"Do you need some water? A doctor? Tell me what to do," I sounded frantic, even to myself.

"I'm not sick - I'm scared," she whispered.

I ran my hand over her back. "Scared of this Victoria?"

She nodded, a shudder rose up her spine.

"Victoria is the red-haired female?"

"Yes," came her feeble response.

"How do you know she wasn't his mate?" All of this was so confusing; her reaction, her explanations.

"Laurent told me James was her mate."

I took her face in between my hands and turned her head, forcing her to look at me. I stared into eyes. "Did he tell you anything else, Bella? This is important," I spoke slowly. "Do you know what she wants?"

"Of course," she squeaked. "She wants _me_."

Her answer surprised me. I took a deep breath to replace the air that just rushed out of my lungs. "Why?"

"Edward killed James," she whispered. I tightened my grip on her, knowing that the mention of _him_ hurt her. "She did get…pissed off. But Laurent said she thought it was fairer to kill me than Edward. Mate for mate. She didn't know - still doesn't know, I guess - that…that…" She couldn't even say it. "That things aren't like that with us anymore. Not for Edward, anyway."

Her last sentence was filled with anguish. Even though she was wrapped securely in my arms, she ached for his cold, marble ones. I hated him for so many reasons. Then a thought occurred to me. "Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"

"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special."

To hear her talk like that, infuriated me. A growl rumbled low in my chest. "If that idiot bloodsucker is honestly stupid enough -"

"Please," she whispered. "Please. Don't."

I wanted to unleash my tongue on what a moron I thought her leech was, but simply nodded. I studied her face. "This is important," I reminded her, getting back to the present threat. "This is exactly what we needed to know. We've got to tell the others right away."

I stood and placed my hands on her hips, making sure she was steady on her feet.

"I'm okay," she lied.

I released my hold on her waist and took her hand. "Let's go."

My brothers weren't going to be happy with what I had planned. My relationship with Bella was already a sore spot between us. I pulled her gently toward the truck.

"Where are we going?" she yelped.

"I'm not sure yet," I admitted, honestly. Then a thought occurred to me, "I'll call a meeting. Hey, wait here for just a minute, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," I promised as I headed off to the trees.

"Jacob!" she croaked, panic in her voice.

I quickly shed my clothes and phased, careful to keep Bella out of my thoughts.

_I need to call a meeting. I have new information on the red-haired leech. _

_What is it? _Sam asked. _Just go ahead and tell us. _

_No, I'd rather do this in person. Get a hold of everyone and I'll meet you in the clearing in ten minutes. _

_But… _

I didn't stick around to hear the rest of his protests. I changed back, pulled on my shorts and headed back to find Bella. She had managed to climb into the cab of her truck. Her eyes were closed and she looked a sickly shade of green.

I tapped on the window and she yelped. I hated seeing her so scared. She needn't be. I wouldn't let anything happen to her.

"You're really scared, aren't you?"

She nodded.

"Don't be. We'll take care of you - and Charlie, too. I promise."

"The idea of you finding Victoria is scarier than the idea of her finding me," she muttered, staring out the windshield.

A laugh rumbled in my chest. "You've got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It's insulting." I placed my hand over my chest, faking my hurt feelings. I hoped that in making light of her fears, she would relax.

She just shook her head. "Where did you go just now?"

What was I supposed to say to that? _Oh, when I'm a wolf, I can talk to my brothers no matter where they are. _Yeah, that sounded totally normal.

"What? Is it a secret?"

"Not really. It's kind of weird, though. I don't want to freak you out."

"I'm sort of used to weird by this point, you know." She attempted a weak smile that only made her lips tighten into a thin line.

I smiled back at her. "Guess you'd have to be. Okay. See, when we're wolves, we can…hear each other."

She stared at me, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Not hear sounds," I tried to put it in a different way, "but we can hear…_thoughts_ - each other's anyway - no matter how far away from each other we are. It really helps when we hunt, but it's a big pain otherwise. It's embarrassing - having no secrets like that." I stole a glance at her face. "Freaky, eh?"

Realization flashed in her eyes. "Is that what you meant last night, when you said you would tell them you'd seen me, even though you didn't want to?"

"You're quick."

"Thanks."

"You're also very good with weird. I thought that would bother you."

"It's not…well, you're not the first person I've known who could do that. So it doesn't seem so weird to me."

That was an interesting statement. "Really?" I considered it again. "Wait - are you talking about your bloodsuckers?"

"I wish you wouldn't call them that."

I laughed, but rephrased my question. "Whatever. The Cullens, then?"

"Just…just Edward." She wrapped her arm around her middle as she said his name. Just thinking about them was still painful. But I couldn't focus on her pain right now. She'd just relayed some important information regarding the Cullens.

"I thought those were just stories. I've heard legends about vampires who could do…extra stuff, but I thought that was just a myth."

"Is anything a myth anymore," she snorted.

"Guess not." I would take the time to digest all this new information later. Now, we had to get to my brothers, they would be waiting. "Okay, we're going to meet Sam and the others at the place we go to ride the bikes."

Bella began the drive before breaking the silence, "So did you just turn into a wolf now, to talk to Sam?"

Heat started to rise in my cheeks as I nodded. "I kept it real short - I tried not to think about you so they wouldn't know what was going on. I was afraid Sam would tell me I couldn't bring you."

"That wouldn't have stopped me."

"Well, it would have stopped _me. _Remember how I couldn't finish my sentences last night? How I couldn't just tell you the whole story?"

"Yeah. You looked like you were choking on something."

I laughed at her observation, because in a way, I was choking on the words that I wasn't allowed to tell her. "Close enough. Sam told me I couldn't tell you. He's…the head of the pack, you know. He's the Alpha. When he tells us to do something, or not to do something - when he really means it, well, we can't just ignore him."

"Weird," she muttered.

"Very. It's kind of a wolf thing."

"Huh," was her only response. I wondered what was really going on in that pretty little head of hers. What she really thought of all of this.

"Yeah, there's a load of stuff like that - wolf things. I'm still learning. I can't imagine what it was like for Sam, trying to deal with this alone. It sucks bad enough to go through it with a whole pack for support."

"Sam was alone?"

"Yeah," I mumbled as my thoughts returned to that agonizing night of my first change. "When I…changed, it was the most…_horrible_, the most _terrifying _thing I've ever been through - worse than anything I could have imagined." I sighed, looking at Bella. "But I wasn't alone - there were the voices there, in my head, telling me what had happened and what I had to do. That kept me from losing my mind, I think. But Sam…" I thought of how much harder it must have been for him and shook my head. "Sam had no help."

We drove along with the only sound being that of the roaring engine. Bella was biting on her bottom lip and her brows were narrowed in concentration.

Finally her voice broke the silence, "Will they be angry that I'm with you?"

My stomach jumped, knowing they would be more than angry. "Probably."

"Maybe I shouldn't -"

"No, it's okay." If the leech was after Bella, I wasn't going to let her out of my sight - out of our protection. "You know a ton of things that can help us. It's not like you're just some ignorant human. You're like a…I don't know, a spy or something. You've been behind enemy lines."

My mind was spinning with the possibilities of what Bella's time with the bloodsuckers could offer us. "Like the stuff about the mind-reading bloodsucker. That's just the kind of thing we need to know about. That really sucks that _those_ stories are true. It makes everything more complicated. Hey, do you think this Victoria can do anything special?"

"I don't think so. He would have mentioned it."

"He? Oh, you mean Edward…" she cringed and I regretted mentioning his name. "Oops, sorry. I forgot. You don't like to say his name. Or hear it."

She grasped tightly at her midsection. "Not really, no."

"Sorry."

"How do you know me so well, Jacob? Sometimes it's like you can read _my _mind."

"Naw. I just pay attention." I paid attention to everything about Bella.

"This good?"

"Sure, sure."

She pulled the car over to the edge and cut the engine. Her face was so sad.

"You're still pretty unhappy, aren't you?" I asked, hating that her heart was still hurting. But not only had he devastated her, he was a bloodsucker. He was a horrible choice for her.

She nodded, staring out into the forest.

"Did you ever think…that maybe…you're better off?"

She took a deep breath, exhaled and spoke a soft, "No."

I continued, "Cause he wasn't the best -"

"Please, Jacob," she cut me off, her tiny whisper begged me. "Could we please not talk about this? I can't stand it."

"Okay." I took a deep breath, not wanting to hurt her anymore. "I'm sorry I said anything."

"Don't feel bad. If things were different, it would be nice to finally be able to talk to someone about it."

I nodded, understanding her dilemma. "Yeah, I had a hard time keeping a secret from you for two weeks. It must be hell to not be able to talk to _anyone_."

"Hell," she agreed.

I sensed the arrival of the pack and inhaled sharply, "They're here. Let's go."

"Are you sure?" she asked as I pushed the door open. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"They'll deal with it." I grinned, "Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?"

"Ha ha," she said, rolling her eyes. She hurried out of the truck and to my side.

I was nervous about how my brothers were going to react to my bringing her, but she was showing physical signs of her fear.

I took her trembling hand in mine and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Here we go."


	11. Family

Chapter Eleven - Family

Bella held my hand in a death grip while standing so close, it felt like she was trying to melt right into me. She was anxious as we waited for my brothers to reveal themselves.

Sam emerged from the trees first, followed by Jared and Embry. Paul was the last to join the party. As if someone has flipped a light switch, their faces turned from confusion to fury.

I squared my shoulders and narrowed my eyes, preparing for what was coming.

Sam took a step toward us, stopping himself as he roared, "What have you done, Jacob?"

Before I could even open my mouth to respond, Paul pushed past Sam, glaring at me. "Why can't you just follow the rules, Jacob?" He threw his hands in the air, emphasizing his frustration. "What the hell are you thinking? Is she more important than everything else - than the whole tribe? Than the people getting killed?"

_Yes, yes and yes, _my thoughts replied. She was more important than anything else in this world, but saying that to my brothers would only cause more hostility. I squeezed Bella's hand. "She can help," I said, careful to keep my tone calm.

"Help!" Paul shouted, his body starting to shake with the anger his voice conveyed. "Oh, that's likely! I'm sure the leech-lover is just _dying _to help us out!"

My own temper was beginning to reach its limit. "Don't talk about her like that!" I glared at him, daring to push me.

His body began to shudder with the tell-tale sign of phasing and I knew it was only a matter of time before he'd had enough.

"Paul! Relax!" Sam commanded.

Paul furrowed his brow in concentration and shook his head slowly, trying to regain some form of control.

"Jeez, Paul, get a grip," Jared muttered under his breath.

Paul whipped around to snarl at Jared, and then turned his rage back toward me. He glared at Bella and raised his lip. Bella was trembling as she moved closer to me. She had no reason to be scared of my idiot brother. I would never let anything happen to her…even if it meant her seeing me morph right before her eyes.

I couldn't believe how childish he was being. I shook my head as I took a step in front of her, blocking her completely with my body.

He snapped. "Right, protect _her_!" Another all too familiar shudder rocked his body and he threw his head back, growling through his clenched teeth.

"Paul!" Sam and I shouted.

Bella's fingers dug her nails into my hand. I could tell she was frightened, but didn't dare take my eyes off of Paul to peek at her. My mind raced as I anticipated what was coming. It was only a matter of time before Paul would be completely out of control and his body would take over.

His shuddering continued until he finally fell forward and shifted into a wolf. Bella let out a gasp and I could sense her fear - as could he.

Paul crouched down menacingly and wrinkled his nose back to expose his teeth. Bella must have been peeking around my arm because that's where his intense gaze was focused. He let out another loud growl that caused Bella to jump and the birds to vacate the clearing.

_You will not hurt her! _my thoughts growled as I ran toward him.

"Jacob!" she screamed.

I knew she was scared and worried; but right now, her safety was all that mattered. I hoped she still liked me after actually _seeing _me explode into a wolf.

The world slowed on its axis as I hurled myself toward Paul. I heard the ripping of my clothes and Bella's screaming my name. I dropped my shoulder and slammed into his body. He flew back into the trees and I followed.

He steadied himself and whipped around to face me. _Bring it on, brother! _

I growled out a warning and circled him, waiting for his next move. He crouched down, preparing to attack and I leapt toward him, sinking my teeth into his neck and dug my claws into his back. _You will not hurt her! _I shouted again.

He pulled out of my grasp and stared at me. _Dammit, Jake! She could ruin everything. Do you really want her telling our secrets to her… lover? _He stressed the last word to drive the invisible knife deeper into my heart. _You should really get over your fascination with her before it gets us all killed!_

_It's not like that. _I ran toward him and knocked him easily to the ground, rolling him over, staring into his eyes. _Would you just listen, you moron! She can help._

_Help? How can she help? _

A snarl came from deep in his chest and I growled in response.

_Paul, stop it! _Sam's thoughts ordered.

Immediately, the snarling stopped as did his struggling.

_So how exactly can she help? _Paul sneered.

I replayed my conversation with Bella at the beach where she informed me who exactly the red-haired leech was after. My stomach tightened again as I realized just how frightened she was.

_The leech is after Bella? _Sam asked, feeling as sick as I did. _You're sure?_

_Of course, I'm sure. She's been scared to death the last few days, _I informed him. _If only you'd let me… _

_Jake, _he warned. _I don't regret my decision for you to stay away from her. _

_But now, I can't possibly leave her unprotected._

Paul laughed. _Unprotected? Is that what we're calling it now?_

_Shut up! _I chomped my teeth playfully at him.

_That's enough. Well, what do you suggest?_

_Honestly, La Push is the safest place for her._

_Yeah, bringing little innocent Bella into the wolf's den, _Paul teased. _The wolf's bed?_

_Am I going to have to kick your butt again? _

_Paul, please be serious._

_Fine._

_So, you think La Push is the safest place for her. Why? I only ask so that when we make our case to Bella, it's been well thought out._

_The obvious thing is, just what Paul said, she'd be living in the wolf's den. And with her being here, the leech isn't going to know exactly where to find her. And if she were to go anywhere else, the leech might follow her, putting other innocent people in danger. _

_I can't guarantee her safety, Jake. _He glanced over at Paul. _She'll need to understand that. _

I nodded.

_We'd better get back. Jared and Embry took Bella back to the house. _

When we arrived in the tree line next to Sam's house, I realized that in my haste, I'd shredded my clothes and that now, I was going to have to face Bella…naked.

Sam's laughter filled my head. _I've got some extra shorts in the garage. You'll need a pair too, Paul. _

_Thanks, Sam. _I breathed a sigh of relief.

We threw on the clothes and Sam headed off toward the house.

"Are we good then?" I asked, turning to face Paul. If he was going to continue the battle, I'd rather it were out of Bella's presence.

He narrowed his eyes for just a moment before he smiled. "I still don't agree with your not warning us, but I guess…" he held out his hand. "We're good."

He turned his back to me and headed toward the house. I raced to catch up with him and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, rubbing my knuckles against his head. "You really do need to control your temper."

"And you, dear brother, need to remember your priorities."

I laughed. "She is a priority."

"Don't get your heart broken, Romeo," he teased as he opened the door and then punched me in the shoulder. I matched his laugh and gave him a jab in the kidneys. "Go get her, lover boy," he whispered. I hoped Bella didn't hear him.

Bella. I scanned the room, searching for her. My eyes finally met hers. She was standing in the far corner of the kitchen, trying to force the wall to swallow her up. I chuckled at her unnecessary fear.

I tipped my head toward her, "Hey, Bells." I grabbed a couple of Emily's delicious muffins from the table and made my way over to her. "Sorry about that." I hoped she wasn't too freaked out by what had happened earlier. "How are you holding up?"

"Don't worry, I'm okay." She forced a weak smile and I raised an eyebrow, questioning her. "Good muffins," she mumbled as she picked up her muffin from the counter and began nibbling at it.

"Oh, man!" Jared's voice brought my attention back to my brothers. They were examining the place where I'd sunk my teeth into Paul's forearm.

Embry was grinning like a fool as he exclaimed, "Fifteen dollars!"

Bella leaned into me. I looked down at her. "Did you do that?" she asked in a soft voice.

Her concern made me chuckle. "I barely touched him." It wasn't exactly the truth, but she didn't need to know all the gory details. "He'll be perfect by sundown."

"By sundown?" she asked skeptically, while her eyes returned to his arm.

I leaned down so that her ear was only inches from my lips. "Wolf thing," I whispered.

She nodded that she understood what I'd just told her, but I could tell she was weirded out.

"_You_ okay?" she muttered under her breath.

"Not a scratch on me." I felt pretty smug about the fact that Paul hadn't been able to so much as break my skin. He may have been a wolf longer, but I certainly had better control than he did.

"Hey, guys," Sam interrupted my thoughts and everyone else's conversations. "Jacob has information for us."

I knew this was going to be difficult for Bella to relive. She'd been scared to the point of making herself sick when she told me about it on the beach earlier. I hoped she knew I would _never_ let anything hurt her - especially another leech.

I squeezed her shoulder lightly before I began my explanation, "I know what the redhead wants." I looked at Jared and Embry while I spoke since, of course, Paul and Sam had already been told. "That's what I was trying to tell you before." I kicked Paul's chair, reminding him again of his stupid loss of control.

"And?" Jared asked.

I paused, letting myself prepare to say the words. "She _is _trying to avenge her mate - only it wasn't the black-haired leech _we _killed. The Cullens got her mate last year, and she's still after Bella now."

Standing next to me, Bella shivered as though an ice cold breath had just blown through the room. I wanted to take her into my arms and protect her - make her feel safe.

Emily turned away from the stove and her mouth fell open as she stared at Bella. Jared and Embry's faces resembled the surprise on Emily's.

"She's just a girl," Embry pointed out the obvious, insinuating that I must be wrong. Bella had been special to the Cullens, but the fact that another vampire was trying to kill her seemed to have all my brothers upset.

"I didn't say it made sense. But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks." _For Bella_, my thoughts added and my stomach jerked.

Bella dropped her head when the faces continued to stare at her with their mouths open.

Finally Jared's voice broke the silence, "Excellent." A smile was starting to pull at the corners of his mouth. "We've got bait."

_Bait? _I reached for the first thing I could find and launched the can opener at Jared's head. He caught it and I snarled, "Bella is _not _bait."

"You know what I mean."

"So we'll be changing our patterns," Sam again took control. "We'll try leaving a few holes, and see if she falls for it. We'll have to split up, and I don't like that. But if she's really after Bella, she probably won't try to take advantage of our divided numbers."

"Quil's got to be close to joining us," Embry muttered the worst fear of every member of the pack. "Then we'll be able to split evenly.

None of us wanted to accept the fact that Quil was probably going to be receiving this curse, just like the rest of us.

Bella's eyes searched my face for something, I wasn't sure. I always tried to put on a happy facade for her, but thinking of the hopelessness of our situation, I couldn't do it. Not right now.

"Well, we can't count on that," Sam muttered quietly, then his voice returned to its normal authoritative level. "Paul, Jared and Embry will take the outer perimeter, and Jacob and I will take the inner. We'll collapse in when we've got her trapped."

I looked down at Bella and then over to Emily. They both wore the same frightened face. I worried that having Bella here for the strategy session was not a good idea. Her eyes met mine and I smiled, trying to assure her fears away.

Sam paused until Bella looked back at him. "Jacob thinks it would be best if you spent as much time as possible here in La Push. She won't know where to find you so easily, just in case."

Her safety was certainly my first priority, but having Bella in La Push was going to give me the chance to spend a lot more time with her. Selfish, I know.

"What about Charlie?" her question came out panicked.

"March Madness is still going," I reminded her. "I think Billy and Harry can manage to keep Charlie down here when he's not at work."

"Wait," Sam said, holding up his hand. I wondered why he'd just halted things until he looked at Emily and then back to Bella. "That's what Jacob thinks is best, but you need to decide for yourself. You should weigh the risks of both options very seriously. You saw this morning how easily things can get dangerous here, how quickly they get out of hand. If you choose to stay with us, I can't make any guarantees about your safety."

"I won't hurt her," I grumbled. _I would never hurt her and if anyone tried, I would kill them first. I'm not you, Sam! _

Sam continued, ignoring the comment he'd heard before, "If there was somewhere else you felt safe…"

I hated that I couldn't see her face, but standing behind her was where I'd positioned myself. She was quiet for a long time. I wondered what she was pondering. Would it really be that bad to stay here - with me?

After an agonizing few seconds, she whispered, "I don't want to lead Victoria anywhere else."

Sam nodded. "That's true. It's better to have her here, where we can end this."

"You'll be careful, right?" she choked out.

The room erupted with laughter. She was always worried about other people. She'd probably even thought about offering herself to the leech in order to save all of us around her. Ridiculous.

Bella turned to look at me and I stopped laughing when I saw the concern in her eyes. She was really worried about me - about us.

"Food's ready," Emily announced which sent the room into a flurry of activity. My brothers and I raced to grab a chair around the table. Emily was a great cook and she really enjoyed cooking for us. She called us her 'boys' and once said she felt like our mother…even though she wasn't that much older than we were.

We finished up with breakfast and we all headed off in our various directions. I took Bella back to the house and I spent the rest of the day trying to keep her mind off of the danger lurking outside the walls of our safe haven.

Billy called Charlie and invited him down, and shortly after his shift, he strolled through the door carrying two large pizzas. I chuckled wondering what everyone else was going to eat. I limited myself to one.

I wasn't sure if it was the protective father in Charlie or the fact that I was now enormous that caused him to eye Bella and I all night.

"So, what's with the new haircut, Jake?" Charlie asked.

Bella whipped around to look at me, but I just shrugged and told him the truth, well part of it. "It's more convenient this way." It was much more convenient short. The length of my hair determined the length of my fur. And the longer the fur, the more burs got caught in it.

I hated the fact that I had to cut off my hair. I knew Bella really liked it longer, but convenience was a sacrifice I had to make right now.

The evening dwindled into darkness and Charlie stood to leave. Bella followed his lead, thanking Billy for letting her hang out here all day.

Billy waved his goodbyes from the porch as I walked Bella to her truck. While Charlie fiddled with his seatbelt, finding any excuse not to pull away, I leaned my head in through her window. "Don't be scared tonight. We'll be out there, watching."

"I won't worry about myself."

"You're silly." It was so cute that she worried about me. "Hunting vampires is fun. It's the best part of this whole mess."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "If I'm silly, then you're dangerously unbalanced."

I chuckled. "Get some rest, Bella, honey. You look exhausted."

"I'll try."

Charlie honked his horn, signaling to Bella that it was time to say goodnight. I didn't want her to leave - ever. Instead I would protect her, help her get the rest she needed.

"See you tomorrow," I told her. "Come down here first thing."

"I will," she promised and my heart soared.

I watched as her taillights disappeared into the darkness before turning back to my dad, who was still on the porch.

"I'll see you later, Dad," I told him.

"Have a good night, son. Be careful."

I laughed. "You know me. I will."

"Yes, I do know you and that's what has me worried."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Good night, Dad."

"Night, Jake."

I listened for the lock on the door and watched as the lights flipped off before heading into the trees. I phased and began to follow Bella home.

Once Charlie had Bella inside, Chief Swan began his interrogation. He asked her all kinds of questions as to what had changed between us. As I listened to her response, I realized that she really had been concerned about me and my sudden change. My heart started to thud violently in my chest and a thick lump started forming in my throat. She'd actually missed me, from the sound of things, almost as much as I missed her.

Her light turned on and then off a few minutes later. I hoped that tonight she would finally be able to get the peaceful rest she so desperately needed.

"Sleep well, my sweet Bella. I won't let anything happen to you."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Bad Idea

I was gone a lot; my schedule wasn't usually this crazy, but I was running extra patrols for Sam. And Bella was stuck by herself most of the time, but until Victoria was caught I couldn't stop. I would run and run until Bella was safe again.

When I checked in on her we always walked on the beach. We always held hands now. I wondered if she was rethinking her boundaries. I hoped that was the case.

I followed her to work on the bike, making sure she was safe and Mike the Moron noticed.

I listened to him laughing as I did so. "Are you dating that kid from La Push? The sophomore?" I listened eagerly to her answer. If she said yes then I was home free. "Not in the technical sense of the word. I do spend most of my time with Jacob, though. He's my best friend." I smiled; I was making an improvement with her. I was her best friend and that was good enough. For now.

That night Sam and Emily joined us for dessert at my house. Emily brought a chocolate cake that was delicious. Charlie was being won over. I could see that all the hard feelings he had had about gangs in La Push were being pushed away.

Bella and I skipped out early to get some privacy. We ended up in the Rabbit. I leaned my head back to rest on the headrest.

"You need some sleep Jake." I smiled she cared about me even more than I thought.

"Ill get around to it." I muttered. Reaching over and taking her hand in mine. Her skin was Icy against mine. "Is that one of those wolf things?" She asked, "The heat I mean."

"Yeah, we run a little warmer than the normal people. About one'o'eight, One'o'nine. I never get cold anymore, I could stand like this in a snowstorm and it wouldn't bother me. The flakes would turn to rain where I stood." I said gesturing to my bare chest. I wondered if my being half naked bothered her. She seemed comfortable which made me happy.

"And you heal fast that's a wolf thing to?"

"Yeah wanna see it's pretty cool?" I started digging around in the glove compartment until I found what I was looking for. The rusty pocket knife gleamed in my hand as I prepared to Gab It into my arm.

"NO, I do not want to see." She shouted, I laughed. "Put that away!"

I chucked it back into the glove box laughing as I did so. "Fine. It's a good thing we heal though. You can't just go see any doctor with a temperature that should mean your dead."

"No I guess not." She relented, "And being so big is part of it too. Is that why you're all so worried about Quil?"

"That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead. "It won't be long now. There's no exact age . . . It just builds and builds and then suddenly . . ." I couldn't speak I had to get a hold on myself. The situation I was in wasn't as bad as before. But I didn't want anyone else having to bear the burden of this curse. It was too much. "Sometimes, if you get really upset about something, that can trigger it early. But I wasn't upset I was happy." I laughed bitterly I couldn't help it. "Because of you mostly. That's why it didn't happen to me sooner. Instead it just kept building up inside of me. I was like a time bomb. You know what set me off? I got back from that movie and Billy said I looked weird. That was all and I just snapped. And then I, I exploded. I almost ripped his face off, my own father!" I shuddered. Remembering that night was horrible.

"Is it that bad, Jake? Are you miserable?" She asked. I smiled after looking at her beautifully anxious face. She cared that I was happy that was a good sign.

"No, I'm not miserable. Not anymore. Not now that you know. That was hard before." I leaned over to rest my cheek on the top of her head. Drinking in her sweet scent. I loved her so much and I wanted her to feel the same way about me. I thought I was making progress; it was so easy for me to be with her like this. As easy as breathing, as natural as rain.

"What's the hardest part?" She whispered. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't know how to describe it without making her feel horrible along with me.

"The hardest part is feeling . . . . out of control. Feeling like I can't be sure of myself, like maybe you shouldn't be around me, like maybe nobody should. Like I'm a monster who might hurt somebody. You've seen Emily. Sam lost control of his temper for just one second . . . and she was standing to close. And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again. I hear his thoughts; I know what that feels like . . . . Who wants to be a nightmare, a monster?" I said all of this slowly. "And then, the way it comes so easily to me, the way I'm better at it than the rest of them. Does that make me even less human than Embry or Sam? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself."

"Is it hard? To find yourself again?" She asked.

"At first," I said. "It takes some practice to phase back and forth. But it's easier for me."

"Why?"

"Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather and Quil ateara was my mother's grandfather."

"Quil?" She asked in confusion.

"His great grandfather," I clarified. "The Quil you know is my second cousin."

"But why does it matter who your great grandfathers are?"

"Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack. Levi Uley was the third. It's in my blood on both sides. I never had a chance. Like Quil doesn't have a chance." It was so easy to talk to her.

"What's the very best part?" She asked. I knew she was trying to cheer me up and I was glad to be off the subject.

"The best part," I said smiling again. "Is the speed."

"Better than the motorcycles?"

"There is no comparison." I nodded enthusiastic.

"How fast can you . . . .?"

"Run?" I said finishing her question. "Fast enough. What can I measure it by? We caught . . . what was his name? Laurent? I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone else." Her face was shocked. I almost laughed.

"So tell me something I don't know. Something about vampires. How did you stand it, being around them? Didn't it creep you out?"

"No." She said dismissively.

This made me think. Why was the Victoria vamp after her? What had made the bloodsucker Cullen destroy the James vamp?

"Say, why'd your bloodsucker kill James anyway?" I asked voicing my thoughts out loud.

"James was trying to kill me it was like a game for him. He lost. Do you remember last spring when I was in the hospital down in phoenix?"

I sucked in a breath, "He got that close?" I asked in disbelieve.

"He got very, very close." She stroked the scar on her right wrist.

"Hey what's that?" I traded hands examining the crescent shaped scar and then I snapped. She had been bitten. Venom had entered the body I loved. I gasped.

"Yes, it's what you think it is. James bit me."

I could feel my eyes bulge and my stomach turned threatening to expel its contents. "But, if he bit you? Shouldn't you be . . .?" I choked on the words. If I said them out loud I wouldn't be able to control it.

"Edward saved me twice." She whispered. "He sucked the venom out, you know like with a rattlesnake."

My whole body was trembling the whole car shook with me. I had to get control of myself. I could not, would not allow myself to hurt Bella. Not in a million years. But at the moment there was a very strong possibility that I would.

"Careful, Jake. Easy. Calm down."

"Yeah." I panted, "Calm." I shook my head trying to clear it of the new information, concentrating on her voice to help me get a hold of myself. Soon only my hands were shaking.

"You okay?" her voice was flavored with concern and anxiety.

"Yeah almost. Tell me something else. Give me something else to think about."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know." I closed my eyes concentrating. "The extra stuff I guess. Did any of the other Cullen's have extra talents? Like the mind reading?"

"Jasper could sort of control the emotions of the people around him. Not in a bad way, just to calm someone down, that kind of thing. It would probably help Paul a lot. And then Alice could see things that were going to happen. The future, you know. But the things she saw would change when someone changed the path they were on . . ." She stopped talking and crossed her arms securely around her chest. I was completely in control now. Keeping very still.

"Why do you do that? You do that when you're upset why?" I asked while tugging on one of her arms lightly. I gave up when it didn't come loose easily.

"It hurts to think about them." She whispered. "It's like I can't breathe . . . like I'm falling into pieces." I smoothed out her hair, trying to comfort her. This is what I was trying to do. Put her back together again like Humpty Dumpty.

"It's okay Bella. Its okay I won't bring it up again. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine happens all the time. Not you're fault." Damn you Edward Cullen you filthy bloodsucker. How could he hurt her like this? It's practically criminal. Not that I wasn't happy that he left but he didn't have to drag her into it.

"Were a pretty messed up pair aren't we? Neither of us can keep our shape together right."

"Pathetic." She agreed, still gasping for air.

"At least we have each other," I was comforted very much so that we had each other. We were so already so much a part of each other. That was a good thing, for me anyway.

"She seemed comforted too. "At least there's that!"


End file.
